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Boyz Crazy/Transcript

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Transcript This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Boyz Crazy." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Carpet Diem" Next: "Land Before Swine"
The episode opens with a close up of the Gift Shop's security feed of Stan talking to a customer. Wendy and Dipper voice over what they say.
Dipper Pines
(Voicing the tourist)
Do you have this T-shirt in my size?
Wendy Corduroy
(Voicing Stan Pines)
I have something even better! Behold: My butt!
Dipper and Wendy laugh, the latter is holding a packet of chips.
Dipper (Whispers) I could play this game forever.
Wendy What'd you say?
Dipper Coughing! I was coughing! Those weren't words!
Mabel Pines (Laughs) This is fun, what you two have.
Dipper Mabel? How long have you been standing there?
Mabel Don't worry about that. Let's talk about why I'm doing this dance! Do-do-do-do-do...
Dipper Oh, no! She got into the Smile Dip again!
Mabel Wrong one-thousand! It's because today is the greatest day of my life!
Mabel throws a calendar at Dipper's face.
Dipper Ow!
Mabel Sev'ral Timez is playing at the Gravity Falls Civic Center and Buffet!
Dipper Ugh. Sev'ral Timez? Aren't they that boy band that came a decade too late?
Cut to a music video of Sev'ral Timez performing "Cray Cray."
Sev'ral Timez Oh oh ooh, Girl, you got me ackin' so cray cray/CRAY CRAY/You tell me that you won't be my ba-bay/We're not threatening!
Cut back to the present. Mabel is standing posed with her arms crossed.
Dipper Mabel, you know all those boy bands are fake, right?
Mabel has started dancing.
Wendy Dipper's right. They're just a manufactured product of the bloated corporate music industry.
Mabel You're making my dance sad...
Mabel stops dancing.
Dipper (Snorts) There's probably a machine that mass-produces them.
Wendy Oh ho, or maybe the boys are grown from pods.
Dipper and Wendy bursts into laughter.
Dipper Yeah, pods, totally!
Mabel You guys can't ruin this for me. Mabel's got back up!
Grenda and Candy enter the shop.
Grenda Hey guys!
Candy Chiu Woot-woot!
Mabel Who's ready for the greatest night of our lives? How many times am I gonna love ya?
Mabel, Grenda, & Candy Sev'ral times!
The three laugh and run off screen.
Dipper Ugh. Girls.
Wendy I know, right?
Mabel and Grenda run through the "Employees Only" door. Candy runs right into the vending machine and smashes her glasses.
Candy I'm okay! (goes through the door)
Cut to the theme song.
In the attic. Mabel and her friends are getting ready for the concert.
Mabel Should I go with lip balm or lip salve?
Grenda (Putting on make-up) Go wild! Tonight's our night!
Mabel

I can't wait guys. Tonight we're gonna meet Creggy G, Greggy C, Leggy P, Chubby Z and Deep Chris!

Candy He's the phat one!
Mabel And those boys will fall in love with us.
Grenda Why wouldn't they? (Stuffs mouth with peanut butter)
Cut back to Dipper and Wendy in the gift shop. Through the security feed we see Robbie walk into the shop.
Dipper (voicing Robbie Valentino) Hey is this the fingerless glove store? I like things that are dumb. I'm Robbie.
Dipper and Wendy laugh.
Wendy C'mon man...
Robbie Ha ha ha ha ha. Laugh it up, chief. So Wendy, Nate and his girlfriend are going to Lookout Point this weekend. Maybe we should go too?
Wendy Are you kidding me? First you stand me up last night! And instead of apologizing, you want me to go to Lookout Point?!
Dipper I'll just be... over here...
Dipper backs out of the room to the "Employees Only" door and eavesdrops on their conversation from there.
Wendy Look, Robbie... (sighs) I'm not sure this relationship's working. Maybe I should see other people.
Dipper, ecstatic, grabs Waddles who was sitting behind him and hugs the pig tightly.
Robbie W-Whoa h-hey! Before you do anything crazy, I- I uh... I want you to hear this.
Robbie reaches into his pocket and pulls out a CD from a suspicious looking case.
Robbie I hope this works...
He pulls the CD close to his face, and it glistens. He smirks while his eyes shoot to Wendy behind him. Dipper, still peeking in, raises an eyebrow. Robbie puts the CD in a player.
Robbie I wrote this song just for you...
He presses play and begins singing a song.
Robbie When I think about you/I feel feelings so deep/I'm tossing and turning/And you know I'm losing sleep
Dipper Yeesh.
Robbie And I know I'm going crazy/When I look into your eyes/Just listen to this song/And you'll be hypnotai-ai-ai-zed
As Robbie sings the final words of the song the camera zooms in on a wide eyed Wendy.
Wendy (Rubs her eyes) Y'know, maybe I was being a little hasty. I'll give you another chance.
Robbie Yes, alright!
Wendy kisses Robbie on the cheek much to Dipper's shock.
Wendy Mwah. Let me go grab my coat.
Wendy leaves through the "Employees Only" door.
Dipper Alright Robbie, I saw that weird CD. What the heck are you up to?
Robbie It's called romance, kid. Something you'd never understand.
Dipper growls angrily. Wendy comes back.
Wendy You ready? I can't believe you wrote that for me.
Robbie I know, I'm just so insanely talented.
Robbie and Wendy leave and as they do so Robbie briefly taunts Dipper behind her back. Dipper is left alone still shocked, before he turns to the CD player and pulls out the CD Robbie left behind.
Dipper Hm...
Dipper inspects the CD, sniffs it, and licks it.
Mabel What are you doing?
The camera cuts back to show Mabel, Grenda, and Candy staring at Dipper, baffled.
Dipper Guys, the weirdest thing just happened. I think Robbie might be hypnotizing Wendy with his music.
Mabel Oh, Dipper. Girls just like musicians. You'll understand when you're older.
Dipper We're the same age!
Mabel Girls mature faster than guys. Right, Grenda?
Grenda is furiously kissing a magazine photo of Chubby Z.
Grenda This is Grenda time!
Dipper stares blankly at her. The scene cuts to the outside of the Gravity Falls Civic Center and Buffet where the girls stand around excitedly.
Mabel Ok, girls have you all practiced your obsessed boy band scream?
Grenda Ahhh!
Candy Ahhh!
Old Man McGucket (Runs up behind the three) Ahhhhh!
Mabel ...Just gonna ignore that.
The girls run up to the box office excitedly.
Mabel Tickets please!
Ticket seller Too late, girls! The show's sold out.
The ticket seller closes the shutters of the box office with a nasty smile. The girls gasp and look around at all the "Sold out" signs hanging all over the area. They shuffle off to the front of a large "Sev'ral Timez" poster that's marked by a large "Sold out" banner.
Grenda This night is ruined.
Candy (Collapses face down on ground) I welcome you death.
Mabel looks at the two sadly, before shooting up to her feet with determination.
Mabel No! I said we were going to meet Sev'ral Timez tonight, and I meant it! And I'm not going to let a "Keep out" sign, keep us out!
Cut to the kitchen in the Mystery Shack.
Stan (singing) Stockin' meat for the apocalypse, doodly-doo. We're all gonna die.
Dipper walks in, staring down at the CD he's holding and paces up and down the kitchen.
Stan What's with the pacing, kid? You look even more freaked out than usual.
Dipper Um, I dunno... You wouldn't understand.
Stan Aw, c'mon kid. (Stan pulls Dipper into a chair) Try me.
Dipper Ok. This is gonna sound weird, but I think Robbie might be brainwashing Wendy with music.
Stan I've seen this before.
Dipper Really?
Stan Her name was Carla McCorkle. Carla "Hotpants" McCorkle.
Stan turns his head and the shot fades to a young Stan Pines leaning against a juke box, nodding his head to the music.
Stan (Narrating) Me and Carla baby would cut a rug together at The Juke Joint, our favorite 50's themed, 1970's diner.
Young Stan and Carla embrace before the two start dancing happily together.
Stan (Narrating) Then one day, this new age tree hugger starts playing this transcendental hippie music.
Young Stan dances by himself and turns to see Carla and Thistle Downe holding each other. He stares at them in shock.
Stan (Narrating) (Sighs) Carla's hotpants turned into bellbottoms before I even knew what happened.
The camera pans down the new couple and Carla's hotpants literally turn into bellbottoms. They then shoot up out of screen leaving behind a trail of rainbows and sparkles. Young Stan looks down forlorn and it fades back to current Stan still looking sad.
Stan My memories get a little hallucination-y at the end, but you get the gist.
Dipper So, wait... you actually believe my theory?
Stan You're darn right I do. And we're gonna get to the bottom of it.
Dipper smiles, encouraged.
Stan Right after I get to the bottom of this brown meat.
Stan upturns the can of meat he was holding and hits the back of the can so the meat falls in his mouth.
Stan Om, nom, it's apocolicious!
Cut to the Sev'ral Timez concert which is coming to an end. The band is dancing on stage.
Sev'ral Timez Sev'ral Timez!
The crowd screams. Deep Chris is sitting on a stool holding a mike.
Deep Chris Hey, girl. I just wanna get real for a moment. And say that while we love being superstars, the real reason we do this... is for you. For you specifically. Not the girl sitting next to you. But you.
Brunette of Pacifica's friends I love you Deep Chris!
Redhead of Pacifica's friends He was talking to me!
The redhead throws a chair at the brunette and soon a whole crowd jumps into fighting.
Tyler Cutebiker Get 'em! Get 'em!
Creggy G. Thank you, good night!
Cuts to a bunch of girls screaming as they leave the concert past the back stage door of the Civic Center. The door's lock has been picked with a hair clip.
Grenda Hello! Sev'ral Timez?
Candy We want to give you several kisses!
Mabel Look! (points)
The three run up the Sev'ral Timez's dressing room door.
Mabel This is it, girls. You're finally going to meet the five cutest boys in the world! Dipper's gonna eat his words that boy bands are "fake." (Takes deep breath and opens door)
The girls gasp at the sight of several cloning tubes of the band in several stages of thier biological development. Starting with their current teenaged age to a fetus. The girls turn and see the band in a giant hamster cage.
Chubby Z. Yo, we're clones, dawg!
Grenda O.
Candy M.
Mabel G.
Mabel That is one big hamster tube. (Gasps) Someone's coming!
The three hide behind a rack of clothes as a man walks in imposingly.
Ergman Bratsman Terrible show! What is wrong with you boys? You barely even sold out the arena! And Deep Chris, you call that a pout?
Deep Chris pouts and whimpers like a puppy; his bottom lip trembling.
Bratsman Every one of you should be ashamed of yourselves! Except you, Leggy P. You were really on point tonight. Here ya go, gorgeous.
Bratsman throws Leggy P. a giant hamster treat. He nibbles on it and hisses when Deep Chris reaches for it.
Bratsman As for the rest of you. Remember you can always be replaced by your brothers.
Bratsman indicates to the cloning tubes and the one that looks like a preteen dances at Bratsman's cue.
Bratsman Dance for me child! DANCE! (Bratsman laughs and chokes maniacally) Augh, my throat is killin' me. Can someone get me a lemon water?
He slams the door shut as he leaves, which forces the girls to fall out of their hiding place.
Deep Chris Who goes there? Prepare to be danced at!
Deep Chris starts dancing towards the edge of the cage where Mabel stares wide eyed from the floor. Creggy G. crouches in front of Deep Chris, blocking him from Mabel.
Creggy G. Step off, Deep Chris. She's a lady. Don't disrespect her, bro. Don't disrespect.
Deep Chris My bad.
Mabel (Squeals)
Deep Chris Chubby Z., let's calm this boo-bop, posing for her poster style.
The band pose for her.
Mabel (Lets out a small scream) Trying not to let my brain explode. I've always wanted to meet you guys! But what was the deal with that scary chub-chub man?
Deep Chris Mr. Bratsman's our producer yo.
Creggy G. He genetically engineered us to be the perfect boy band, G.
Chubby Z. But he keeps us in cages! That junk is straight brutal, girl!
Mabel That is straight brutal, Chubby Z.
Creggy Z. Our one dream is to escape into the real world. For real. Yo, I heard 'bout these things called "trees." I dunno what they are, but I wanna kiss one!
Greggy C. But we can't disobey Mr. Bratsman. He says he loves us.
Mabel If he loved you, he'd set you free!
Sev'ral Timez (Nodding) True dat, true dat.
Chubby Z. That's a valid perspective!
Mabel (Picks lock) Let's go right now. Me and my friends can help you escape!
Grenda We're masters of STEALTH!
Chubby Z. Yo, you'd really do that for us, beef?
Mabel You can count on me! (Pause) I'm sorry, did you just call me "beef"?
Cut back to the Mystery Shack.
Stan Y'see, Dipper, music has sublimnal mind control hidden in it all the time. If you listen closely, even the music I play in the Gift Shop has subtle hidden messages.
Cut to two tourists browsing the Gift Shop.
Speaker BUY MORE KEYCHAINS! BUY MORE KEYCHAINS!
One tourist runs away after knocking down postcards. The other collapses onto the floor after dropping a jarred hand, and whimpers as he presses his hands over his ears. Cut back to Stan and Dipper.
Stan If you wanna hear the mind controlling messages, you gotta slow down the record. Gimme that LP.
Stan grabs the CD from Dipper and puts it on a record player. It just scratches the CD which discharges little sparks of electricity.
Dipper Oh, right.
Stan We're doin' something wrong here, but I can't put my finger on it...
Mabel, Grenda, and Candy are shoving a large sports bag into the Shack. Mabel groans with the effort.
Dipper Hey, guys. How was the concert, and what's in the bag?
Mabel Uh... money! Money we stole!
Candy We are criminals! We will cut you!
Mabel Let's go away from here now!
The girls pull and shove the bag up the stairs and the band members inside the bag yelp at every other step. Dipper and Stan watch them and look at each other questioningly.
Cut to the the inside of the bag getting unzipped. In Mabel and Dipper's room the Sev'ral Timez members fall out one at a time. Deep Chris comes out in a pose.
Leggy P. Your tour bus is really strange, Mabel girl. Where the feedin' tubes at?
The members inspect the room. Deep Chris pats Waddles on its head.
Deep Chris Yo what up, girl? (Waddles oinks)
The girls giggle and share secretive smiles with each other.
Creggy G. So, when do we get to go outside?
Chubby Z. I wanna cavort like a woodland creature!
A car screeches outside. Mabel runs to the window.
Mabel (Gasps) It's your producer!
The band members panic and jump under Mabel's bed. Outside, Bratsman exits his limousine.
Bratsman I can't believe those boys escaped from their cage. You there! I found this trail of frosted tips leading to this very location. Have you seen any perfect boys around here?
Soos Only when I look in the mirror. Haha, up top!
Soos raises his hand for a high five, but Bratsman just stares at him. Eventually he high fives himself.
Bratsman They must be around here somewhere! I'll find those boys if I have to turn this town upside down!
Gompers bleats as he chews off Bratsman's license plate.
Bratsman Shoo! Shoo! Ehh...
Bratsman enters his limousine and leaves, glaring at Soos suspiciously as he does so.
Soos (To Gompers) Good boy.
Mabel Guys, it's not safe out there! Ergman's still looking for you!
Chubby Z. What do we do?
Deep Chris Aw dang!
Greggy C. I'm scared, Mabel!
Mabel Don't worry, guys. He has to give up eventually. Hey... in the meantime you guys can stay here with us!
The band members exclaim happily.
Chubby Z. Aw right, twenty-thirteen!
Mabel Girls, do you realize what's happening here? We have our very own pet boy band that we can do whatever we want with!
Candy Remember, eventually we will have to let them go. We have to promise not to get too attached to them. Right, Mabel? Mabel?
Mabel All aboard the braid train! Braid braid!
Candy and Grenda look at Mabel and Sev'ral Timez line of braiding hair a little worriedly.
Mabel What?
Cut to a montage of the girls hanging out with the band. A song sung by Sev'ral Timez plays over it. The band performing for the girls in the living room and hiding on the ceiling when Stan nearly catches them, teaching them to drink water normally, the girls racing on the band members in a long hallway. The montage ends with a Sev'ral Timez group hug and Mabel. Grenda and Candy try to join in as well.
Mabel Just—oh— just a few more minutes.
Grenda But--
Mabel (Hisses)
Grenda and Candy look at each other, startled.
Cut to Dipper and Stan in the living room. Dipper has just finished converting the CD to a record.
Dipper Alright, it took all day but I converted it to a record. And now we can slow it down to see if the mind control message theory is correct. Prepare to have your mind blown.
Stan Spit-take here I come. (Sips Pitt Cola)
The record plays and Dipper slows it down, a tapeman at the ready to record any hidden messages.
Stan Hm... that's not spit worthy. What gives?
Dipper What? Is that it?
Dipper messes with the speed to no avail.
Dipper Ugh! This was so stupid! Course there's no hidden mind control messages! Mabel was right. Wendy just likes the song. She just likes Robbie.
Wendy and Robbie enter.
Wendy Hey, Dip. Forgot my keys. (leaves)
Robbie What's up, junior. What are you doing? Trying to come up with an equation to make girls like you? (laughs)
Wendy (enters) Ready to go to look out point?
Robbie Am I! Later, dorks. Catch ya on the rewind. (chuckles) I made that up.
Robbie and Wendy leave.
Stan (shakes fist) I'll rewind your face!
Dipper Wait a minute. Stan, rewind!
Dipper manual turns the record backwards and this time another message can be heard.
Record You are under my control. Your mind is mine.
Stan (spits soda onto Dipper's face) Holy mackerel! Now there's your spit-take!
Dipper Ha ha! I knew it! It's mind control after all! Oh no, I've got to save Wendy!
Stan Finally, a good reason to punch a teenager in the face. Let's roll!
Dipper and Stan exit the back door. Mabel walks down the stairs and into the kitchen where Grenda and Candy are watching TV.
Grenda How'd it go up there?
Candy (sighs) Oh, I finally got them to sleep. Poor Greggy C. He tried to eat a tape dispenser.
Cut to Greggy C.
Greggy C. I think this is food, dog! (stuffs dispenser into mouth and starts choking on it.)
Creggy G. Yo, you gonna share that?
Cut back to the kitchen.
Mabel Ah, memories.

Shandra Jimenez (On TV)

The music industry was shaken today at the news that boy band king, Ergman Bratsman, has been arrested. He was pulled over tonight for not having a rear license plate.
Bratsman I'm telling ya, the goat took it!
Sheriff Blubs That's what they all say.
Shandra He is now in county jail, awaiting trial.
Grenda Yes!
Candy We have to tell the boys they are free now.
Mabel (laughs nervously)
Candy Let's go!
Grenda and Candy giggle happily as they run up the stairs to the attic. Mabel runs to block them from the bedroom door.
Mabel Not so fast! They're not going anywhere.
Grenda and Candy (gasps)
Grenda What's the dealio, Mabel? That evil producer is gone. We have to tell the boys.
Mabel Wait, girls. Let's not be so hasty. I mean, think about it. If we don't tell the boys, then they can stay here with me—I mean, with us.
Grenda Mabel, we can't keep them here forever.
Mabel But I love them!
Candy If you loved them, you'd set them free.
Mabel Never! Every boy I've loved this summer has left me! And I'm not gonna let it happen again!
Grenda Candy, we gotta get past Mabel. She's gone boy crazy!
Mabel (huffs, teeth bared) BOYS.
Candy Candy, attack!
Candy tackles Mabel through the door. The band stand up, startled.
Grenda You guys, Ergman Bratsman is in jail! You're free!
Candy Just go!
Creggy G. Woah! Is that true, Mabel dog?
Mabel Uhh, no! Your producer's still out there! You're gonna have to stay here, probably forever!
Grenda What! You can't listen to her!
Deep Chris Mabel's our girl, girl. She puts pizza in our food trough!
Chubby Z. She changes my newspaper, yo. She's aight.
Grenda She is not "aight," Chubby Z!
Mabel pulls herself up from under Candy and marches up to the band members.
Mabel Sev'ral Timez!
Sev'ral Timez Yes, Mabel dog?
Mabel Remove these two from the premises, please.
Sev'ral Times move toward them snapping thier fingers at them.
Grenda Oh no, they're aggressively dancing at us!
They pick up Candy and Grenda.
Grenda Mabel's gone mad with power. Save yourselves, Sev'ral Timez! You were better off with your producer!
They throw the two out the room. And turn and pose.
Deep Chris Word.
Grenda (peeks her head back in) Call me Deep Chris! (Leggy P. kick the door back close.)
Chubby Z. Twenty-thirteen!
Mabel (sighs) Thank you, boys. Now let's get aboard the braid train.
Deep Chris Things just got pretty heavy, Mabel. Maybe we should just like, chill for a minute and--
Mabel I said, let's get aboard THE BRAID TRAIN!
Sev'ral Timez looks at each other worriedly.
Cut to the Stanmobile driving quickly down a road.
Dipper We gotta warn Wendy about the song before she get's brainwashed!
Stan Road safety laws, prepare to get ignored! (Stan drives through a blocked road)
Cut to Wendy and Robbie at Lookout Point.
Robbie Huh, weird, Nate didn't show up. So I- I guess it's just you and me. This isn't what I was planning at all.
The Stanmobile drives straight up the cliff edge to Lookout Point. Dipper runs out while Stan falls out.
Stan Wha-o! Oof.
Dipper Wendy!? Stop! Robbie's been lying to you!
Wendy Dipper?
Robbie Kid? Mr. Pines?
Stan That's Mr. Pines to you!
Robbie What? That's what I just said...
Dipper Look, Wendy, you've got to hear this.
Cut to Mabel relaxing on bed drink chocolate milk. Sev'ral Timez walks up to her.
Creggy G. Mabel, you've got to hear this. It's a song we wrote to say 'thank you.'
Greggy C. Hit it!
The song starts to play to Mabel's delight.
Mabel Oh, boy! Songs are like hugs that mouths give to ears!
Sev'ral Timez Here comes you/Mabel girl/We dreamed of being free, (so free)/But now we know/That that can never be/You know what friends are all about/You kicked those lying shorties out, (kick them out y'all)
Mabel Starting to feel guilty here...
Sev'ral Timez Break it down!/Who's the girl who's so aight/Tucks us into bed at night/Holds the fan up while we sing/Keeps me entertained with string!/My shirt was wrinkled till/SHE PRESSED IT/Chews our food/SO WE CAN DIGEST IT/He was evil, mean, and reckless/YOU GAVE ME THIS CANDY NECKLACE/'Sup, girl/Other folks we could never trust/But we know/That you'd never lie to us/Mabel girl/We know you love us SoOoOo
Mabel And that's why I've got to let you go. (sighs)
Cut back to Lookout Point. The tapeman is playing a regular recording of Robbie's song.
Dipper Uh... There's a message in there. (laughs nervously) I swear!
Robbie Let me just... close the window.
Dipper Wait, wait! Here. (Raises the volume)
Recording You are under my control. Your mind is mine.
Wendy Woah. Robbie, what's that doing in our song?
Robbie Baby, I promise. I don't know anything about those messages. In fact, I didn't even write that song. I ripped it off some other band! So, we're all good, right?
Wendy No, we're not all good! I don't care about the messages. You said you wrote that song for me, and I actually thought it was sweet, you big liar.
Robbie I know, I know. I lie about a lot of stuff. Like using your makeup and fighting a bear, although--
Wendy No! You know what? It's over, Robbie. We're through!
Robbie What?! Wendy!
Wendy Goodbye! (Wendy gets out and slams the van door.)
Stan Haha! We won! Kid, this is a victory for every guy whose hands are too weak or fat to play a musical instrument.
Dipper I couldn't have done it without you, Grunkle Stan.
Dipper and Stan (high fives) Ha!
Dipper (runs up to Wendy) Um, hey! Uh, now that your night is free, me and Grunkle Stan are thinking, maybe bowling, or something?
Wendy (Crying) Are you serious?! Right now? Ugh! What is wrong with guys? You only think about yourselves! All of you should just leave me alone! (leaves)
Robbie Oh, man. (buries face into stearing wheel)
Stan Look, if it makes you feel any better, the apocalypse is coming soon. Bury your gold! ...You've been buying gold, right?
Dipper looks at his tape forlornly and ashamed.
Cut to outside the Mystery Shack. Candy and Grenda walk up to the main entrance.
Grenda We've gotta save the boys.
Candy I'm prepared to defend myself.
Mabel (opens door) Hi, guys. I'm sorry I went bonkers. A catchy song made me realize, that you were right. Can you ever forgive me?
Grenda Of course!
Candy Friendship, repaired.
The three hug. Sev'ral Timez exit the Shack.
Leggy P. What's going on, Mabel girl?
Chubby Z. You said you had something you wanted to show us or some deal?
Mabel Yup. This! (gestures to outside and rising sun.)
The band gasps to varying degrees.
Chubby Z. Yo, dog who is this big, round, bright, fool?
Mabel That, Chubby Z., is the sun.
Chubby Z. That fool is makin' my eyes hurt straight painful! I'm gonna stare that fool down! (stares at the sun till his eyes water.) Aaauuugh! (rubs his eyes)
Deep Chris Yo, yo, hold up. What's this big green mess?
Mabel That's nature, Deep Chris. Bratsman won't bother you anymore. You can do anything you wanna do, go anywhere you wanna go. You're free!
Chubby Z. Fa-ree?
Mabel Free! You're free! It means you can skedaddle! (sobs and picks up a stick and hits their leg) Now go! Go!
They hesitantly walk forward and turn to look back at Mabel.
Mabel Get out of here before I change my mind!
They walk toward the bushes and sing a final refrain before disappearing into them.
Sev'ral Timez (Singing) Goodbye girl.
Candy They won't last a week.
Cut to Stan and Dipper sitting in the living room.
Stan Women. They're the real mystery, Dip. You ruin their date, drive their hippie boyfriend's van into a ravine... and somehow you're the "bad guy."
Dipper No, it's my fault. I shouldn't have meddled in Wendy's personal life. She probably hates me now.
Stan Ah, chin up, kid. You were tryin' to do the right thing. Even though you destroyed a relationship and part of my car.
Dipper You think she'll ever forgive me?
Stan Ah, I bet she will. And until then, you can always go bowling with me.
Dipper Thanks, Grunkle Stan.
Stan Don't mention it, kid.
Stan hears a gnawing sound coming from outside.
Stan Wait a second... Is something rooting through our trash?
Outside Leggy P. is digging through a trashcan.
Stan Hey, hey! Get outta of here!
Leggy P. scared, runs away on all fours.
Stan Darn beautiful men, always eating out of my trash... Wait, what?
Credits roll.
Sev'ral Timez Girl you got me actin' so cray cray/CRAY CRAY/You tell me that you won't be my ba-bay/We're non-threatening girl/yeah
They stop performing to what is revealed to be a deer. The deer leaps away.
Creggy G.

(making out with a tree) Dang girl. (continues kissing) Twenty-thirteen.

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