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Transcript This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Candy Monster." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "N/A" Next: "Stan's Tattoo"
Static.
Opens to Dipper holding a basket of chicken strips.
Dipper Well, that concludes Gravity Falls anomaly #13, the Möbius chicken strip. (Eats chicken strip) It's infinitely delicious!
Something runs past the camera.
Dipper Whoa! Hey! What the—Aah!
Camera falls over
Dipper (Picks up camera) Mabel, did you see that? Wake up!
Mabel Never. (Faces the other direction) Let me sleep forever.
Dipper Some creature just jumped out of nowhere! It's eating our leftover Summerween candy!
Mabel (Gets up) What?!
Dipper (Points camera at the monster) Look!
Mabel Ew, it's like a... naked little man.
Dipper (Holds up title card) Okay, this is now Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, # 76, uh, "That Thing?"
The Thing (Eats candy) (Picks up candy basket)
Mabel No, put it down. Put it down...
The Thing (Licks the basket)
Mabel Oh, gross!
Static.
Dipper (Comes into view dressed in squeaky toys) Okay, I'm ready. I've covered myself in armor. (Squeaks toy with golf club) I'm going to capture him for science.
Mabel And for candy!
Dipper Get this on tape in case I die or whatever. (Walks over to the Thing and moves some candy with the golf club, then tries to catch it in a wastebasket) Aha!
The Thing (Climbs up the ceiling)
Mabel Oh! Die mutant! Die! (Throws squeaky toy at it, but it comes back and hits her) Ow!
The Thing (Jumps into the staircase)
Dipper (Runs after it)
Mabel Save the candy!
Dipper Where is it? Have you seen it? (Gets attacked by the monster)
The Thing (Jumps down on Dipper and knocks him over, grabs candy and runs off)
Static.
(The Thing is on the fridge. It throws the cereal onto the floor)
Mabel Oh no!
Dipper (Throws a can at the Thing)
The Thing (Throws candy at Dipper)
Mabel He's wasting candy! Dipper, open your mouth! Try to catch the candy in your mouth!
Dipper What? No, why would I— (Catches candy in mouth and munches) Actually that's pretty good— (Gets hit by a big candy bar) Aah!
The Thing (Runs with candy into the living room and turns on the TV with his foot, then stares at it)
Mabel Look! He's hypnotized by the TV.
Dipper Ha! And he dropped the candy! What a little dummy! Glued to the... to the... Oh, I love this movie.
Static.
(Dipper, Mabel, and the Thing are watching TV; Dipper and Mabel are eating candy while the Thing eats a golf club)
Dipper Shouldn't we... (munches) do something about the monster?
Mabel Candy now. Monster later.
The Thing (Eats the golf club and whimpers, Dipper gets another one for it and eats it)
Soos Oh, hey Dipper! Hey Mabel! (Pauses, then looks at the Thing) Hey Grunkle Stan!
Dipper (To the audience) Well, that's it for Dipper's Guide to the Supernatural. The next episode will probably be about getting rid of this candy-eating monster.
Soos (To the Thing) Psst! Stan, what's he talking about?
Static. A part of the hidden page is shown.

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V - E - H - D Transcripts of Gravity Falls
Season one Tourist Trapped | The Legend of the Gobblewonker | Headhunters | The Hand That Rocks the Mabel | The Inconveniencing | Dipper vs. Manliness | Double Dipper | Irrational Treasure | The Time Traveler's Pig | Fight Fighters | Little Dipper | Summerween | Boss Mabel | Bottomless Pit! | The Deep End | Carpet Diem | Boyz Crazy | Land Before Swine | Dreamscaperers | Gideon Rises
Season two Scary-oke | Into the Bunker | The Golf War | Sock Opera | Soos and the Real Girl | Little Gift Shop of Horrors | Society of the Blind Eye | Blendin's Game | The Love God | Northwest Mansion Mystery | Not What He Seems | A Tale of Two Stans | Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons | The Stanchurian Candidate | The Last Mabelcorn | Roadside Attraction | Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future | Weirdmageddon 1: Xpcveaoqfoxso | Weirdmageddon 2: Escape From Reality | Weirdmageddon 3: Take Back The Falls
Animated shorts Candy Monster | Stan's Tattoo | Mailbox | Lefty | Tooth | The Hide-Behind | Mabel's Guide to Dating | Mabel's Guide to Stickers | Mabel's Guide to Fashion | Mabel's Guide to Color | Mabel's Guide to Art | Fixin' It with Soos: Golf Cart | Fixin' It with Soos: Cuckoo Clock | TV Shorts 1 | TV Shorts 2 | Mabel's Scrapbook: Heist Movie | Mabel's Scrapbook: Petting Zoo
"Old Man" McGucket's Conspiracy Corner Marathon Triangles | Stan's Brother | Relation Shipping | Laptop Code | The Ice Man | Medalions | Government Agency | 6-18 | Eyes | Cryptograms
Grunkle Stan's Lost Mystery Shack Interviews Interview - Jake Short/Transcript | Interview - Tyrell Jackson Williams/Transcript
Related Media Unaired pilot | Between the Pines
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