When Dipper decides he needs to learn to "be a man," he wanders into the forest on a quest to attain manliness...and encounters danger, tests of bravery and a giant talking bear. Meanwhile, Mabel tries to teach Stan how to be attractive to women.
It's an ordinary day at the Mystery Shack. The Cute Biker wants to get his Christmas shopping done early this year, and is looking for something that's in the spirit of the season. Dipper and Mabel are hungry and ask Grunkle Stan to take them to Greasy's Diner. They end up locking the Cute Biker in the store because they don't want to wait for him to make up his mind. At the diner, Grunkle Stan orders a split plate, with a side of ketchup for Dipper and a cup of salad dressing for Mabel since he wants to save money. Mabel wants pancakes but Grunkle Stan doesn't want to splurge for it with the fancy flour they use these days. Dipper says he is going to win everybody free pancakes by attempting the manliness tester, but Mabel and Grunkle Stan laugh at him. Grunkle Stan says: "Remember last week?", and the scene flashes back to Dipper in the bathroom singing 'Disco Girl' with a comb, by Icelandic pop-sensation BABBA. He then attempts to win free pancakes by beating the manliness tester, but fails. A card comes out that says, "You are a cutie patootie!" to the sound of a baby laughing and nursery music playing in the background. Manly Dan is able to effortlessly beat the machine with just his pinky pushing the manhandle, and wins free pancakes for everyone in the Diner.
Dipper runs off in embarrassment. He winds up in the forest eating Manly Beef Jerky doing bench presses with a small twig, when all of the sudden the ground beneath him begins to shake. A herd of animals run past Dipper, followed by Manly Dan who tells Dipper to run for his life. Dipper hides behind a log where a huge Manotaur named Chutzpar, summoned by the smell of Dipper's beef jerky, arrives. Chutzpar can smell that Dipper has emotional issues and Dipper tells the Manotaur that he has man-related problems. Dipper sees how manly the Manotaur is and asks for some pointers. Chutzpar agrees and tells Dipper to climb on his back hair. He then takes Dipper to the Mancave where there is an entire group of Manotaurs doing various manly things. Dipper introduces himself as Dipper the Destructor. The group initially rejects Dipper, but decides to train him after he uses reverse psychology.
Meanwhile, Mabel is trying to help Stan to get Lazy Susan to like him, with the help of Wendy and Soos. Then Dipper is given the task to bring back the Multi-Bear's head to the leader of the Manotaurs. Once done he will be a man. Dipper goes to do his task and meanwhile, Mabel takes Stan to Lazy Susan at Greasy's to admit his imperfections, then Lazy Susan goes away to get her phone number for Stan.
Soon, Dipper finds the Multi-Bear and defeats him. However, the bear asks Dipper if he could make his last wish. Dipper agrees and the Multi-Bear points to a tiny radio in the corner of its cave, asking Dipper to play the tape already in it. Dipper turns it on and the Multi-Bear reveals that his favorite song is Disco Girl. Realizing that the Manotaurs bullied the Multi-Bear because he likes this song (which is a sign of girliness). Dipper decides to let the Multi-Bear to live. He tells the Manotaurs that it's horrifying to kill the Multi-Bear because he's a really nice guy and that they're a bunch of jerks if they want him to do it. The Manotaurs leave him saying that Dipper will never become a man, and he goes back to the Greasy Diner to tell Grunkle Stan and Mabel what had happened.
Grunkle Stan says Dipper was his own man and that he stood up for what was right. Mabel leans over the table and discovers that Dipper has a chest hair. After Dipper congratulates himself, Mabel takes tweezers and takes the hair out, claiming it was a "scrapbookertunity." Grunkle Stan tells Dipper that if he's anything like him, he'll grow a lot more hair when he gets older and then rips off his shirt, revealing large amounts of chest hair. The three laugh until Dipper tells him it's truly disgusting. At the end of the show, during the credits, Grunkle Stan is sitting is his chair when the phone rings. He stops the TV and looks horrified. The phone goes to voicemail and says this is message thirty-six. It starts and Lazy Susan starts talking. She says she was just calling to stay hi, and her cats also want to say hi. Donald and Sandy give dull meows, but Mr. Cat Face hisses. Lazy Susan yells at the cat and tells Stan to call her back. Stan claws at his head and asks himself how can he get out of this relationship. In the credits there is a cryptogram.
- Written by:
- Storyboards by:
- Tyler Chen
- Erik Fountain
- Mark Garcia
- Niki Yang
- Kristen Schaal - Mabel Pines
- Jason Ritter - Dipper Pines
- Alex Hirsch - Grunkle Stan and Soos
- Linda Cardellini - Wendy
- Jennifer Coolidge - Lazy Susan
- John DiMaggio - Manly Dan
- Keith Ferguson - Deputy Durland/Testosteraur/Glurk
- Will Forte - Cute Biker
- Alfred Molina - Multi-Bear
- Kevin Michael Richardson - Sheriff Blubs/Leaderar/Chutzpar
- Fred Tatasciore - Pituitor
- Additional Voices:
- Casting By:
- Sara Goldberg
- For a full transcript of "Dipper vs. Manliness," click here.
- Mabel has a picture of Dipper and wax Stan's body in her scrapbook and a picture of her and a fish possibly from "The Legend of the Gobblewonker."
- The gnomes are mentioned again.
- Chutzpar mentions the merpeople, from the future episode "The Deep End."
- This is the first episode not to feature 3.
- Viewership: This episode was watched by 3.144 million viewers on its premiere night.
- During the end credits of this episode, there is a cryptogram that reads "PV. FDHVDULDQ ZLOO EH RXW QHAW ZHHN. PV. DWEDVK ZLOO VXEVWLWXWH." Once decoded, it reads "MS. CAESARIAN WILL BE OUT NEXT WEEK. MS. ATBASH WILL SUBSTITUTE." This indicated that a new cipher (Atbash) was going to be used in subsequent episodes.
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