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Transcript This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Fixin' It with Soos: Cuckoo Clock." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Fixin' It with Soos: Golf Cart" Next: "TV Shorts 1"
Soos Ramirez (Remix) F-f-fixin' it with Soos!
Singer (Singing) Yeah! Fixin' it, baby!
Soos (on screen with strange effects going on) Wow!
Singer (Singing) You're ma baby Soo-oo-oo-oos!
Soos (tropical backdrop, flying out of mouth:) Fixing, healing!
The logo of "Fixin' it with Soos" flies out from Soos' mouth. Cut to the break room.
Soos Hey, dudes! Welcome to 'Fixin' It With Soos', the only home "Fix It" show that I edited myself on my own computer. (A giant hand appears and moves to Soos)
Giant Hand (with a low, mechanical, deep voice) HIGH FIVE!
Soos (High fives it and a WAP sign appears. The hand disappears) Thanks, clip-art hand! Today I have this broken cuckoo clock (picks up a broken Cuckoo Clock). As you can see, it's tore up from the floor up. (demonstrates the broken areas with his hand) Stan knocked it down the other day by accident.
Static. Cuts to the Mystery Shack's living room with Stan holding a baseball bat, beating the Cuckoo Clock.
Stan Pines Stop making that noise! 
The Cuckoo Clock keeps making the cuckoo noise but slower.
Stan I hate you! (beats the Cuckoo Clock again) This is definitely not an accident! (beats one more time)
Static. Cuts back to Soos in the break room.
Soos I'm gonna fix it up, and when I'm done, Stan will rate my handiwork on the "Awesome-o-meter". (Soos pickes up the "Awesomeometer" Page. Giant Hand appears again)
Giant Hand (low, mechanical, deep voice) HIGH FIVE!
Soos Not, not now, bro...
Cut to screens where Soos' head floats.
Soos Duct tape! Wood Glue! (flirt-like) Hey you! (Shows a screen with Soos wearing undershorts)
Cuts to Soos in the break room holding a "fixed" cuckoo clock, only taped with a few pieces of duct tape.
Soos Almost there! Although, something off... (the clock falls apart) Ah-ha! It needs decorations!
Mabel Pines (Enters the scene, sipping a juice box) Oooh! Make it leopard print!
Fast forward. Mabel is holding chips now; the Cuckoo Clock is covered with leopard print and has two fuzzy dice attached to it.
Mabel Whoa... What else does it need?
Soos A beach house! So the cuckoo can live in style.
Static. Cuts to the break room again with Soos and Mabel sitting on the floor and the Cuckoo Clock has a mini-house taped to the right side.
Soos Ah, the bird is going to need some homies.
Static. Cuts to Soos showing the little birds he added to the Cuckoo Clock.
Soos I'll call you (names the birds from left to right) Kurt, Jaden, Carlos and De'Andre!
Static.
Soos Some boomboxes!
Mabel A slide! And a ball pit!
Soos A pyrotechnics kit!
Mabel Real animal fur!
Soos Lasers! LASERS, DUDE!
Static. Cut to Mabel and Soos staring at the cuckoo clock (The clock itself does not appear on the scene), an angel sound is in the background and a strong, bright light is coming from the clock.
Mabel What do you think?
Soos It's too dope, I can't cope!
Cuts to the Mystery Shack's living room with Mabel holding the "Awesomeometer", Soos in front of the Cuckoo Clock, the Cuckoo Clock covered with an old sheet and Stan on the side.
Soos Mr. Pines, are you ready for the grand unveiling of your brand new Cuckoo Clock?
Stan You've joined forces with Mabel. This is an unsettling development.
Soos Voila!
Soos uncovers the Cuckoo Clock and it is revealed to make music, light up the place and more many decorations Soos and Mabel wanted, for example the slide and the boomboxes.
Soos So, Stan, What do you think?
Stan Why is it permanently set to one fifty (1:50)?
Soos Its hands are in the air, like it just doesn't care! (a thumbs-up puppet jumps out of the clock) So, one to ten, what do you give it?
Stan Well, it doesn't make that horrible Cuckoo sound anymore, so... I don't know, ten out of ten, whatever.
Soos is very happy and suprised, and drops the Cuckoo Clock, destroying it. Cut to many screens including; Soos shooting a "PROBLEM" text with laser eyes making the word solved appear, hitting a Pinyata of a colored zebra that has a "PROBLEM" text on it—then explodes, the "Awesomeometer' explodes, Soos standing on an edge of a cliff in the sunset, a lava burst and more.
Soos (screams on the cliff edge) SOLVED! (deep voice)
Cuts to Soos' room with Soos.
Soos Join us next time as we fix my computer, because I think I've crashed it permanently making some of those graphics (Soos' computer monitor explodes). Did we get that? Save it for the explosions reel!
A drawing of Soos with no hand, muscled body and a tool in his hand. "THE END" is written on the screen under the drawing, a tiger roar sound is in the background. End.

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V - E - H - D Transcripts of Gravity Falls
Season one Tourist Trapped | The Legend of the Gobblewonker | Headhunters | The Hand That Rocks the Mabel | The Inconveniencing | Dipper vs. Manliness | Double Dipper | Irrational Treasure | The Time Traveler's Pig | Fight Fighters | Little Dipper | Summerween | Boss Mabel | Bottomless Pit! | The Deep End | Carpet Diem | Boyz Crazy | Land Before Swine | Dreamscaperers | Gideon Rises
Season two Scary-oke | Into the Bunker | The Golf War | Sock Opera | Soos and the Real Girl | Little Gift Shop of Horrors | Society of the Blind Eye | Blendin's Game | The Love God | Northwest Mansion Mystery | Not What He Seems | A Tale of Two Stans | Dungeons, Dungeons, and More Dungeons | The Stanchurian Candidate | The Last Mabelcorn | Roadside Attraction | Dipper and Mabel vs. the Future | Weirdmageddon 1: Xpcveaoqfoxso | Weirdmageddon 2: Escape From Reality | Weirdmageddon 3: Take Back The Falls
Animated shorts Candy Monster | Stan's Tattoo | Mailbox | Lefty | Tooth | The Hide-Behind | Mabel's Guide to Dating | Mabel's Guide to Stickers | Mabel's Guide to Fashion | Mabel's Guide to Color | Mabel's Guide to Art | Fixin' It with Soos: Golf Cart | Fixin' It with Soos: Cuckoo Clock | TV Shorts 1 | TV Shorts 2 | Mabel's Scrapbook: Heist Movie | Mabel's Scrapbook: Petting Zoo
"Old Man" McGucket's Conspiracy Corner Marathon Triangles | Stan's Brother | Relation Shipping | Laptop Code | The Ice Man | Medalions | Government Agency | 6-18 | Eyes | Cryptograms
Grunkle Stan's Lost Mystery Shack Interviews Interview - Jake Short/Transcript | Interview - Tyrell Jackson Williams/Transcript
Related Media Unaired pilot | Between the Pines
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