Soos Ramirez
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(Remix) F-f-fixin' it with Soos!
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Singer
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(Singing) Yeah! Fixin' baby!
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Soos
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(on screen with strange effects going on) Wow!
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Singer
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(Singing) You're ma baby Soo-oo-oo-oos!
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Soos
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(tropical backdrop. Flying out of mouth:) Fixing, healing!
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The logo of "Fixin' it with Soos" flies out from Soos' mouth. Cut to the break room.
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Soos
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Hey dudes! And welcome back to "Fixin' it with Soos," the show where I always forget that I'm leaning on the soldering iron. (sizzling sound, takes his hand off the iron) AH OWW!!
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Static. Back in Soos' break room with a bandage on his hand.
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Soos
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(To Wendy and Dipper) What needs fixing today?
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Wendy Corduroy
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Well, me and Dipper were just doing normal work stuff with the golf cart...
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Static. Cut to Dipper and Wendy on the golf cart about to attempt to jump over Stan's car.
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Dipper Pines and Wendy
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(Cheering) Jump! Jump! Jump! Jump!
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Wendy attempts to drive the cart over the car but it falls over on its side. It goes up in flames not long after. Static, cuts back to the break room.
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Wendy
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So now the cart's busted for some reason. You think you can fix it so we can finish our stunt?
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Soos
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You have called upon my fix-it powers. I accept this call, Wendy.
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Wendy
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Huh? What call?
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Soos
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The call of... POWER!! (Pictures of lightning appear around Soos' hands)
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Wendy
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...What's happening right now?
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Soos
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(whispering) I'll show you guys later. Oh no! A bat! (Bat picture appears) Laser eyes, go! (Lasers appear from his eyes and make the bat explode).
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Dipper
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Still in the dark over here.
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Static. Cut to the backyard. Dipper and Soos are in jump suits.
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Soos
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It's time to fix the golf cart. At the end of the show, Dipper and Wendy will rank my handymanship from 1 to 10. (Whispering to Dipper:) Vote 10!
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Dipper
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Happy to do it, dude. Hey, do you think a girl would think I look cool in this jump suit? (laughs nervously) I mean.. (Keeps on laughing)
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Soos
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(Defeated voice) Some things, even Soos can't fix.
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Static. Cuts to Soos fixing the engine of the golf cart and Dipper walking in the background.
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Soos
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Huh, looks like a problem with the fuel injector. Dipper, try the engine now.
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Dipper
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(Walks to the golf cart and starts the engine successfully) Hey! You did it, man, it works!
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Soos
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My fix-it power, has been unleashed!
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Dipper
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Why do you keep saying stuff like that?
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Soos
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Unleash the POWER!!! Woo woo wooooo! (Soos' head is pasted on a wolf's body. Dipper's head is next to the moon.) Well I'm not done yet, it's not quite as rad as possible. Time cut!
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Cut to screens where Soos' head floats
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Soos
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Fix it! Do it! Accidentally unscrew it!
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Cut to Dipper, Wendy and Soos standing next to the golf cart covered with a white sheet.
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Soos
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Behold! (uncovers the white sheet from the golf cart)
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Dipper and Wendy
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Whoa!
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Background music starts, showing the redesigned cart from different angles
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Soos
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So let's make this jump!
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Static. Cuts to Dipper, Wendy and Soos driving the golf cart.
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Dipper
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I don't think we have enough speed to make it.
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Soos
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Hit the nitrous boosters!
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Wendy
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Aren't those illegal?
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Soos
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You bet your life they are, baby! (Presses a button on the steering wheel which makes the cart increase speed.)
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Wendy and Dipper scream happily. The golf cart jumps over the ramp and doesn't land on the other side of the ramp.
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Dipper
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We're clearing it! We're clearing it!
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Soos
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So, what score do I get, from one to ten?
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Dipper and Wendy
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(Chant) Ten out of ten! Ten out of ten!
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Soos
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Thanks, guys!
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Dipper, Wendy and Soos scream as the golf cart slowly faces down, about to crash.
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Soos
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Oh, dude, oh no! Watch out watch—
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Static. Background music stops. Cuts to a birds-eye view of the Mystery Shack, and the golf cart embedded in the left side of the roof. Soos, Dipper and Wendy are on the ground near the Mystery Shack's front door. Stan comes out of the Mystery Shack.
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Stan Pines
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Soos! I think the roof is broken! Can you fix it for me?
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Soos
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I make my own economy.
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Cuts to a picture of Soos as a tiger in one of the golf cart designs shown before. A tiger roar sounds, end cut.
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