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Short opens with Mabel sitting in the attic. Her hair is twisted and messy.
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Mabel
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And that concludes Mabel's Guide to Hair Topiary.
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Dipper
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What is it?
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Mabel
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It's an ostrich. It's clearly an ostrich. (Grabs the beak part of the hair and emits bird calls)
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Intro: A techno mixed version of Mabel's voice calling herself plays while a montage featuring Mabel is played.
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Mabel
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Today: Mabel's Guide to Stickers!
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Cuts to Mabel sitting on a chair with a book. Behind her is Dipper reading a book on his bed.
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Mabel
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Throughout history, stickers have been the backbone of many great civilizations.
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Dipper
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No, they haven't.
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Mabel
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(Shows the book) The ancient Greeks used leeches for stickers! The more stickers you had, the cooler you were!
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Dipper
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Nope, not true.
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Mabel
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(Turns the page) The ancient Aztecs' chest skull was the modern equivalent to today's (shows a sticker) "Orange you happy mon?"
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Dipper
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Yes, Aztec war paint was exactly like a rasta orange. Mabel, have you ever read a history book?
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Mabel
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(Points at Dipper) Edit it out!
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The tape fast-forwards. Dipper disappears.
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Mabel
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(Snaps her fingers) Edit! (stickers appear on her face) Edit! (more stickers) Edit! (more) Cut away!
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Static. Cuts to Mabel holding her Sticktionary.
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Mabel
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Let's take a look at my personal Sticktionary! (Opens her Sticktionary.) Stickers falls into several distinct categories. Puffy stickers,
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Soos
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So soft!
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Mabel
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(Turns the page) Googley eyes stickers, (Shakes the book)
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Soos
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Aaah! It's like they're watching me!
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Mabel
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(Turns the page) Bumper stickers, scratch and sniff, sniff and touch, listen and taste, and price stickers! (Closes out) You can get these ones free at the store!
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Dipper
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Don't they need those?
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Static. Cuts to electronics store.
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Mabel
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(Takes the price tags off the TVs) Stickers, stickers, stickers. Hahaha.
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Customer
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(Picks up a TV) Free TVs, everybody!
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The customers run and steal TVs. Static, cuts back to Mabel.
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Mabel
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Listen, Dipper. You shouldn't doubt my authority. In the sticker world, I'm the girl who can get you things.
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Static. Cuts to Mabel and Stan at the gift shop desk.
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Stan
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I need a sticker to put on my car that'll, y'know, get the cops off my back.
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Mabel
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(Shows Stan a "Baby on board" sticker.)
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Stan
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Oh! (Tries to grab the sticker)
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Mabel
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(Takes it back) Uh-uh! My price?
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Stan sighs and gives Mabel a huge can of industrial sprinkles.
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Mabel
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I'm gonna get so sick.
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Static. Cuts to Mabel eating the sprinkles.
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Dipper
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Mabel, don't you think those are hazardous to your health?
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Mabel
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EDIT IT OUT!!! (Dipper dissappears) Edit! (wearing sunglasses) Edit! (a radio appears) Edit! (Soos appears)
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Soos
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What? How did I get here?
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Mabel
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Thanks for watching Mabel's Guide to Stickers. And now a riddle: What kind of sticker can save your life?
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Static.
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Mabel
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Waddles! If you please.
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Waddles
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(Shoots the grappling hook which hits Mabel.)
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Mabel
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(sits up and opens her jacket to show the stickers she had inside.) Puffy stickers! (Laughs) It still really hurt, though...
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