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Transcript This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Mabel's Guide to Stickers." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Mabel's Guide to Dating" Next: "Mabel's Guide to Fashion"
Short opens with Mabel sitting in the attic. Her hair is twisted and messy.
Mabel And that concludes Mabel's Guide to Hair Topiary.
Dipper What is it?
Mabel It's an ostrich. It's clearly an ostrich. (Grabs the beak part of the hair and emits bird calls)
Intro: A techno mixed version of Mabel's voice calling herself plays while a montage featuring Mabel is played.
Mabel Today: Mabel's Guide to Stickers!
Cuts to Mabel sitting on a chair with a book. Behind her is Dipper reading a book on his bed.
Mabel Throughout history, stickers have been the backbone of many great civilizations.
Dipper No, they haven't.
Mabel (Shows the book) The ancient Greeks used leeches for stickers! The more stickers you had, the cooler you were!
Dipper Nope, not true.
Mabel (Turns the page) The ancient Aztecs' chest skull is a modern equivalent to today's (shows a sticker) "Orange you happy mon?"
Dipper Yes, Aztecs' war paints were exactly like a rasta orange. Mabel, have you ever read a history book?
Mabel (Points at Dipper) Edit it out!
The tape fast-forwards. Dipper disappears.
Mabel (Snaps her fingers) Edit! (stickers appear on her face) Edit! (more stickers) Edit! (more) Cut away!
Static. Cuts to Mabel holding her Sticktionary.
Mabel Let's take a look at my personal Sticktionary! (Opens her Sticktionary.) Stickers falls into several distinct categories. Puffy stickers,
Soos So soft!
Mabel (Turns the page) Googley eyes stickers, (Shakes the book)
Soos Aaah! It's like they're watching me!
Mabel (Turns the page) Bumper stickers, scratch and sniff, sniff and touch, listen and taste, and price stickers! (Closes out) You can get these ones free at the store!
Dipper Don't they need those?
Static. Cuts to electronics store.
Mabel (Takes the price tags off the TVs) Stickers, stickers, stickers. Hahaha.
Customer (Picks up a TV) Free TVs, everybody!
The customers run and steal TVs. Static, cuts back to Mabel.
Mabel Listen, Dipper. You shouldn't doubt my authority. In the sticker world, I'm the girl who can get you things.
Static. Cuts to Mabel and Stan at the gift shop desk.
Stan I need a sticker to put on my car to, y'know, get the cops off my back.
Mabel (Shows Stan a "Baby on board" sticker.)
Stan Oh! (Tries to grab the sticker)
Mabel (Takes it back) Uh-uh! My price?
Stan sighs and gives Mabel a huge can of industrial sprinkles.
Mabel I'm gonna get so sick.
Static. Cuts to Mabel eating the sprinkles.
Dipper Mabel, don't you think those are hazardous to your health?
Mabel EDIT IT OUT!!! (Dipper dissappears) Edit! (wearing sunglasses) Edit! (a radio appears) Edit! (Soos appears)
Soos What? How did I get here?
Mabel Thanks for watching Mabel's Guide to Stickers. And now a riddle: What kind of sticker can save your life?
Static.
Mabel Waddles! If you please.
Waddles (Shoots the grappling hook which hits Mabel.)
Mabel (sits up and opens her jacket to show the stickers she had inside.) Puffy stickers! (Laughs) It still really hurt, though...

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