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Transcript This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Summerween." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Little Dipper" Next: "Boss Mabel"
(The episode opens revealing Stan's car crashing into a "handicap parking" sign)
Stan Pines Here we are, the Summerween Superstore!
Dipper Pines Wait, Summer-what?
Stan Summerween! (Pulls out a calendar) The people of this town love Halloween so much, they celebrate it twice a year. And wouldn't you know it, it's today!
Dipper Do you always carry that calendar in your pocket?
Stan (Pauses) Yes.
Mabel Pines Summerween? Something about this feels unnatural.
Soos Ramirez There's free candy!
Cut to inside the store.
Dipper and Mabel TO THE COSTUME AISLE!
Soos (Presses a cackling skull)
Skull I'd lend you a hand... but I don't seem to have any! (Cackles)
Soos Haha, this guy tells it like it is.
Worker Sir, could you please stop pushing that?
Soos Ma'am, make these heads less hilarious, and you got yourself a deal. (Presses skull)
Skull (Cackles)
Store worker Ugh...
Stan (Picks up a big barrel of fake blood) Ha ha! When the children come to my door tonight, they're gonna run away screaming from Stan Pines, Master of Fright! (Turns, faces a baby) Boo.
The baby cries as Stan laughs. Soos continues pressing the skulls and Dipper and Mabel knock over a pile of jack o' melons.
Stan (Holding leaking container of fake blood) Uh-oh. Think this one's leaking!
Store worker (On walkie talkie) Have the police come and eject the Pines family from the store.
Stan NOT TODAY! (Tosses smoke bomb)
Store worker MY EYES!
Pines and Soos (Runs out with some Summerweeen stuff)​​
Mabel You paid for the stuff, right?
Stan Of course!
Cuts to store worker holding a Stan Buck.
Store worker I hate Summerween.
Stan (Drives into an inflatable Summerween decoration, which deflates) Let's move! (Car switches direction and drives away)
Cuts to theme song. The Mystery Shack is all decorated for Summerween.
Mabel I'm so excited!
Dipper We're gonna have the best costumes, get the most candy...
Mabel And have the biggest stomachaches ever!
Dipper Yeah!
Mabel Haha, yeah!
Soos (Dressed as a superhero) Dude, I've never seen you guys so pumped.
Mabel Well, back at home, me and Dipper were kind of the kings of trick-or-treating. (Shows a memory book of them in costumes) Twins in costumes, the people eat it up.
Soos Well, you dudes better be careful out there. It's a night of ghouls and goblins. Not to mention... (turns off lights and shines flashlight in face) the Summerween Trickster(Dramatic music plays)
Mabel The Summer-what-what?
Soos The Trickster goes door to door, so the legend goes, eating children who lack the Summerween spirit.
Dipper Well, you don't have to worry about us. (Eats piece of candy) We've got spirit to go around. (Coughs, lights turn back on) Ugh! What is this stuff? I've never even heard of these brands. (Shows each candy as he names them) Sand Pop? Gummy chairs? Mr. Adequate-Bar?
Mabel This is all cheap-o loser candy!
Soos Quiet your discontent, children, lest the Trickster overhear.
Dipper Your cape is caught in your fly, Soos.
Soos Touche... (Eats a gummy)
Dipper Goodbye loser candy! (Throws candy out the window)
View from outside with heavy breathing. Door bell rings.
Stan (Offscreen:) Trick-or-treaters. Quick! Give'em that terrible candy.
Dipper (Opens door) Happy Summerw-AHH! (Spills candy bowl)
Robbie Valentino 'Sup, squirt.
Wendy Corduroy Hey Dipper!
Dipper Wendy! Ha ha! (Backs up into staircase) Ow... Wha-what's up, guys?
Wendy I left my jacket here. Again.
Robbie What's with the candy? You're goin' trick-or-treating or something?
Dipper Well actually I, uh —
Wendy Shut up, Robbie, of course he's not going trick-or-treating.
Dipper No! Uh, yeah. (Hides the scrapbook) Trick-or-treating is for babies. (Laughs nervously) I guess.
Wendy You should come to this party with us. Tambry's parents are out of town, and it's gonna be OFF THE CHAIN.
Robbie Not surprised you didn't hear about it. (Hands Dipper a flyer)
Dipper Hey guys, wait! Maybe I'll see you at the party.
Robbie If you're not too busy playing dress up.
Wendy (Elbows Robbie) It's at 9! Don't forget! (Van engine rumbles and van drives off)
Dipper (Sighs) How am I gonna tell Mabel?
Wolf howls in the distance. Mabel is in the lobby, dressed as strawberry jelly. Candy and Grenda are also here, dressed as a taffy and witch, respectively.
Mabel Grunkle Stan, these are my best friends, Candy and Grenda.
Candy Chiu I am so sweet I could eat myself.
Grenda Hello, Mr. Pines!
Stan (Is dressed as a vampire) You got a cold, honey? Something wrong with your voice there?
Grenda What do you mean? Why would you say that?
Stan (Waves his cape and walks away)
Candy Is Waddles coming with us?
Mabel I wish he could, but he has some very important meetings to attend!
Waddles (Walks in with a suit attacked to his chest. He runs up to Mabel)
Mabel File these documents under 'I', for "I have a curly tail!"
Grenda (Grenda and Candy laughing) What about your brother?
Mabel Oh man guys, just wait until you see Dipper's costume! It's amazing! Here he comes now!
Dipper (Walks down the stairs dressed normally)
Candy That is a very good Dipper costume.
Mabel What the hey-hey bro-bro, where's your costume?
Dipper Look, I can't go trick-or-treating. I'm... uh, really sick. (Fake coughs) Must have been that bad candy. (Falls on floor) Go on without me.
Mabel Fight through it, man! Where's your Summerween spirit?
Someone knocks on the door. Dipper opens it.
Trickster Trick-or-treat.
Dipper Dude, really? You're a little old for this, man. Sorry.
Trickster But wait, I — (Door slams)
Mabel Why'd you close the door?
Dipper I told you, Mabel, I'm just not feeling it tonight. (Fake coughs)
Mabel I think a little trick-or-treating will make you feel better.
Dipper I'm not trick-or-treating!
Knocking on door again.
Dipper (Opens door) Look man, just go to another house! (Slams door)
Mabel Dipper! Where's your Summerween hospitality?
Knocking on door.
Dipper I'm not getting that.
Mabel Well I am! (Opens door) I apologize for my brother, he came down with a case of the grumpy-grumps.
Trickster SILENCE! You have insulted me! For this you must pay... with your LIVES. 
Mabel Aww, what a cute little mask! You're a funny guy, aren't you?
Trickster (Enters the Shack) Funny, am I?
Gourney Twik-owr-tweet! My name is Gourney. 
Trickster (Grabs and eats Gourney)
Gourney Remember meeee!
Dipper, Mabel, Candy and Grenda (Scream)
Grenda Gourney!
Trickster There's only one way for you to avoid his fate. (Pokes Candy on the head, Candy clutches Dipper in fright) I need a treat. If you can collect 500 pieces of candy, and bring it to me before the last jack-o-melon goes out... (Blows out jack-o-melon) I will let you live.
Dipper Five hundred treats in one night? That's impossible!
Trickster The choice is yours, children. You must trick-or-treat... Or DIE. Bwahahaha. (Crawls across the Shack's roof and out of sight)
Dipper Oh my gosh Mabel, do you realize what this means?
Mabel I do. It means you have to come trick-or-treating! Yay! (Shakes Dipper) 
Candy Who was that guy?
Mabel It's the legend Soos told us about. It's true!
Grenda (Shaking Dipper) What do we do what do we DO!
Soos What's goin' on out here, dudes? I heard a ruckus. Hehe. That's a funny word. Ruckus.
Dipper Soos, a monster is making us trick-or-treat or else he's gonna eat us!
Candy I got a picture! (Shows Soos a picture she took on her phone; the picture has a pink and fluffy outline, stickers, and a Korean word.
Soos The Summerween Trickster! Oh man, dude, you guys are in crazy bonkers trouble.
Dipper How are we gonna get that much candy in one night? There's no way!
Mabel (Clapping) Listen up, people. Now some might say that being cursed by a blood-thirsty holiday monster is a bad thing.
Grenda I wet myself.
Mabel But that monster messed with the wrong crew. With Candy's spirit, Grenda's strength, Dipper's brains, and... Soos here, we'll get 500 pieces of candy and have fun doing it too, even if it takes all night!
Soos, Candy and Grenda (Cheer)
Mabel To the streets!
Dipper All night? But-but I'm sick, remember?
Mabel Dipper, what's worse: getting eaten by a horrifying monster, or coming trick-or-treating with us?
Dipper Well..
Mabel Come on! (Grabs Dipper by the arms)
Stan (Putting in fake fangs) Ah, Summerween. Those kids aren't gonna know what hit 'em! (Looks through the window and laughs evilly)
Kids (Kids ring doorbell) Trick-or-treat.
Stan (Opens door) What can I do for y — uh, ugh. Oh no! No! Augahhh! (Face melts off, revealing a skull; kids scream and run away; Stan reveals the skull was actually a mask) Ah haha! Huh? (Notices that two kids haven't left)
Soldier Kid Can we have candy now?
Stan What's the matter with you kids? That was the scariest thing you've ever seen, right?
Kids look at each other and motion a "so-so" with their hands.
Stan Well have you seen this! Ah! (Pulls hotdog chain from costume) Guts! Real, very real guts!
Mummy Kid Uh, we've been watching horror movies since we were like, two years old.
Soldier Kid Yeah, we're not scared.
Stan Oh, you will be. (Covers face with cape menacingly) You will be.
View of watertower with bats flying by. Trick-or-treaters seen from above.
Manly Dan (He and his sons are dressed as vikings) For glory, my children, CHARGE! (They smash through door with a battering ram. People inside scream)
Sheriff Blubs (Dressed as Durland) You make a great me.
Deputy Durland (Dressed as Blubs) No, you make a great me.
Blubs No you do. (Durland giggles)
Dipper I don't understand why we can't just buy our candy and be done with it.
Mabel That sorta takes the fun out of trick-or-treat-or-die.
Dipper  I'm trying to take the DIE out of trick-or-treat-or-die.
Trick-or-treaters rings door bell. Lazy Susan answers it.
Kids Trick-or-treat.
Lazy Susan Well aren't you just the cutest! And is everyone in costume? (Gives the kids candy) Good. Wonderful.
Kids Happy Summerween!
Dipper, Mabel, Candy, Grenda and Soos Trick-or-treat!
Lazy Susan Is everyone in costume? (Looks at Grenda) Chimney sweep, (looks at Soos) elephant man, (looks at Candy) squeegee, (looks at Mabel) ant farm! (Looks at Dipper) Oh and what are you supposed to be?
Dipper Uh, actually, I'm not dressed up as anything. We're, we're kinda in a hurry, here.
Lazy Susan Oh. I see. (Gives everyone except Dipper one piece of candy) Enjoy!
Grenda One piece of black licorice?
Candy Circus peanut! This is loser candy.
Dipper Four pieces of candy?! This is gonna take forever!
Mabel We've gotta up our game, Dipper. You gotta put on your costume.
Dipper I told you, I'm not up to it, Mabel! (Fake coughs)
Trickster Oh, really? (Climbs down onto Soos, picks up a piece of candy out of Soos' bag) I've seen better. (Grabs a jack-o-melon) Tick tock. (Blows candle out and jumps behind a house)
Mabel So what was that about being too sick to wear a costume?
Dipper sighs and kicks a rock. Cut to the Mystery Shack.
Soldier and Mummy Kids We want candy! We want candy!
Stan (Opens door wearing normal clothes) Alright, you got me, kids. You guys win. I guess I'm not that scary, you know, you've-you've- Oh! No! Ughh! (Screams as Waddles comes out of his shirt) Why?! Why is there a pig jumping out of my chest?!
Kids look at each other.
Mummy Kid Candy.
Soldier Kid Can-dy!
Stan stands there, Waddles falls out of his shirt onto the porch and walks away
Stan What scares you two freaks?
Soldier Kid (Grins at each Mummy Kid) Here, watch this. (Holds up a smart phone with a video)
Stan (Watching video) What, what is this? Some kinda- some kinda kitten or- (monster face appears on the video screaming) Ahhhh!! Ah! Ah! (Runs inside, kids laughing. Stan looks at the mirror.) What happened to you, Stan Pines? What happened?
Cut to Mabel.
Mabel Introducing, for the first time in public... (Dipper walks out in his costume, a jar of peanut butter) TADAH! Peanut Butter and Jelly!
Soos, Candy and Grenda Awwwww!
Candy (Takes out her phone) I will make you internet famous. (Takes picture)
Dipper Hey! Erase that! Let's just get this over with, okay?
All Over with! Over with!
Dipper (Rings doorbell) Do you really think this will make a difference?
Biker (Opens the door, grunting)
Dipper and Mabel (Start dancing) Hat a ta tah, Tah tah ta... TWIIIIINS!
Biker tears up and dumps the entire candy bowl in their bag. Mabel and Dipper smile. Montage of trick-or-treating plays.
Dipper Let's get that candy, guys!
Mabel (Counting candy) 34, 35...
Candy (Climbs into the wheelbarrow) 36. You see? Because —
Mabel Yeah, I get it. (More trick-or-treating) 22, 23, 24. A hundred and twenty-four!
People start blowing out jack-o-melons.
Dipper C'mon, c'mon!
More doorbell ringing.
Toby Determined Hello.
All except Toby (Scream)
Mabel What a horrible mask!
Toby That's just my face. This is a mask. (Puts on monster mask) Roar!
All except Toby Oh, yeah. That's actually better.
Toby (Sighs)
More doorbell ringing.
Mabel 498, 499. We did it! (Group cheers) All we need is one more piece of candy.
Dipper And it's only 8:30. Perfect timing!
Mabel (Hugs Dipper) Mwah! And your cough went away too!
Soos Dude, I'm gonna go around and grab the truck. Soos, away! (Runs off)
Mabel Last one to the last house is a pair of wax lips! (Mabel and Candy giggle and run off)
Grenda Not me! Nooo! (Runs after them)
Dipper (To himself:) The perfect time to go to Wendy's party, and no one needs to know I was trick-or-treating.
Robbie's van pulls up. Dipper panics and quickly takes his costume off and hides it and the wheelbarrow full of candy in the bushes.
Wendy Hey Dipper!
Dipper Oh hey, Wendy. What's up? (Nudges part of his costume into the bush)
Wendy Are you comin' to the party?
Robbie What are you doing out here?
Dipper Oh, um. Haha, I'm on my way. I like watching the trick-or-treaters. Reminds me of when I was a kid. (Wipes nose)
Wendy Ok, then. You're coming, right?
Dipper Definitely, definitely.
Wendy Cool. See you there. (Van speeds off)
Dipper Later, guys.
Mabel (Behind him) You're going to a party?
Dipper Well, hey, I —
Mabel (Throws the last piece of candy at him) That's why you were acting so weird and trying to hurry us! You're not sick at all! So if it wasn't for this crazy monster, you were gonna ditch me! On our favorite holiday! 
Candy and Grenda Ooohh.
Mabel What happened to the Dipper who used to love Halloween?! (Looks around) And where's all the candy?!
Dipper Relax, relax. I left it right here. Behind this bush. (Pushes the bush aside and looks over) Oh no.
The wheelbarrow full of candy has fallen into a creek gorge and most of the candy is floating downstream.
Mabel What did you do!?
Dipper Well, I-pch I-!
Grenda Uh, guys? (As a jack-o-melon goes out)
Mabel (As jack-o-melons in front of all the houses go out) Oh no! All the jack-o-melons are out!
Dipper Look! (Points down the road where the last jack-o-melon is still lit)
Old Man McGucket (About to blow it out) Ehehe! Good night! (Inhales)
All except McGucket (Gasps)
Mabel Stop!
Old Man McGucket What?
All except McGucket Nonononnonoo. Don't don't don't!
Old Man McGucket Eh? What's happening?
Dipper Just don't blow out that candle!
Old Man McGucket (Pulls out a horn to his ear) What?
Dipper Don't blow out that candle!
Old Man McGucket (Beat) I'm Old Man McGucket! (Inhales)
Dipper Wait!
Grenda (Rams into McGucket and grabs Jack-o-melon) Sorry.
McGucket Eh. Eh. Eh. Eh. (Climbs over a pile of cars)
Dipper Phew, that was close. (Group sighs; candle goes out)
Mabel Uh oh.
Trickster (Walks up) Knock knock.
Grenda drops the jack-o-melon, commercial break.
Trickster So children. Where's my candy?
Dipper I swear, we had all 500 pieces. Look, it's down there somewhere. We can still get it. (Group nods)
Trickster I'm afraid it's too late! That was your last chance. 
Dipper (Throws candy at Trickster, but he absorbs it) Go, go, go, go!
Group runs around Trickster, who follows them. Candy screams as it grabs her. Mabel trips and is grabbed by the Trickster.
Mabel Ahhh!! Dipper!!!
Dipper Mabel! (Is grabbed by Trickster)
Soos (Crashes into the Trickster with his truck, causing it to explode; the kids go flying)
Grenda We're alive! Yeah!
Soos (Stops truck) Woah.
Dipper and Mabel Soos!
Soos That wasn't like, a regular pedestrian, was it?
Mabel It was the monster!
Dipper Thanks, Soos. Phew. I'm just glad it's over, right? (Mabel glares at him and walks away)
Soos (Once everyone is in the car) Did everyone remember to put on their seatbelts?
Everyone except Mabel Yes.
Mabel (Nods)
Soos Let's go! (Truck drives off)
Mabel (Rubs her bruised elbow)
Dipper Hey, are you okay? (Mabel turns away) There's probably some bandages back at the Shack.
Mabel (Looking outside) Uh, guys? (Trickster reforms and growls, jumping onto the back of the truck; group screams and the truck swerves; the Trickster falls off and hits a telephone pole)
Dipper (Pulling on Soos' cape) Breaks! Breaks! Breaks! (Truck crashes into the Summerween Superstore)
Mabel (Coughs and gasps after she sees the monster)
Dipper We have to hide! (Group runs off)
Trickster (Growls and tears off the truck's door)
Dipper (He, Mabel, Candy and Grenda are hiding in the shelves) It's blocking the only exit. Everyone, stay quiet!
Mabel Oh, so now you're worried about the monster. I thought all you cared about was Wendy.
Dipper Mabel, you know that's not true. I just felt like I was getting a little to old to go trick-or-treating.
Mabel That's exactly why we need to go trick-or-treating, Dipper! We're getting older, there's not that many Halloweens left! I guess I didn't realize it was already our last one.
Trickster (Roars)
Candy We have to escape.
Grenda What if it sees us?
Soos (Hiding in the costume rack) If only there was something we could use to cover our bodies and faces with. You know, like a disguise of some kind. 
Dipper and Mabel look at each other. Cut to the shelves where the group is hiding from the trickster in costumes. They are heading towards the exit.
Dipper This way! Almost there! (Turns around) Soos!
Soos (Standing in front of the cackling heads)
Dipper Stop!
Mabel Soos, don't you dare!
Soos Sorry dude, today's been way too stressful. I need some levity. (Presses the skull, nothing happens)
Mabel Oh thank goodness. It was out of batteries. (Turns around) Soos, no!
Soos (Struggling to open a package of Bat-eries. He puts them in and presses the head)
Skull No matter the score, I'm always a-head! Nyaha nyaha.
Soos Hahaha! (Slaps his leg) This cackling head's the voice of a generation! (Trickster comes up behind him and opens its mouth; Soos presses the head again; the monster eats Soos)
Dipper Hey monster! (Group pulls out toy weapons and starts attacking the Trickster)
Grenda (Chops off one of the Trickster's arm) Salt water taffy? Gross!
Dipper (Hacks at a leg) What are you—? (Tastes a piece) Wait, it is.
Trickster You really haven't figured it out yet? (Picks the kids up) Don't you recognize me? Look at my face! Look closely. (Pulls the mask off)
Dipper and Mabel (Scream)
Mabel Loser candy!
Trickster That's right! Did you ever stop and think about the candy at the bottom of the bag that no one likes? Every year the children of Gravity Falls throw away all of the 'REJECTED' candy into the dump. So I seek revenge; revenge on the picky children who cast me aside. I'm made of every tossed piece of black licorice, every discarded bar of old chocolate with like that white, powder stuff on it. You know that stuff!
Mabel I hate that stuff!
Trickster No one would eat me. But now, I'm going to eat you. (Hears something) What is that? (Screams)
Soos (Rips through Trickster's chest, screaming) 'Sup, bro?
Trickster falls to the ground vomiting jelly beans.
Soos (Eating the Trickster) Dudes, you want some of this?
Dipper, Mabel, Candy, and Grenda (Shake their heads)
Trickster Wait, you actually think I taste good?
Soos Uh, sure! You know.
Trickster All I've ever wanted is for someone to say that I was... good. (Cries candy corn) I'm so happy!
Soos Crying makes it a little weird, but, (takes another bite) guess I'm still eating.
Gorny (Breaks through Trickster's chest)
Soos 'Sup, Gorny?
Gorny I've been twaumatized!
Cut to the Mystery Shack.
Mummy kid Now what?
Soldier kid Let's just get our candy already! (Goes inside) Old dude? Old dude? (Goes up to bathroom)
Stan (Turns the water on, sighs) Wash off the shame, Stan. Wash off the shame.
Soldier kid (Comes into the bathroom) Ha! He thought he could scare us.
The kids watch Stan pulling off the towel.
Stan Eh? What's that?
Kids AAAAAAAA! (Run away)
Stan (Still wearing his underwear) Ahahaha! Still got it!
Dipper, Mabel, Soos, Candy, and Grenda (Come inside)
Dipper Hey, Stan!
Mabel Hi, Grunkle Stan!
Soos, Candy, and Grenda Hello, Mr. Pines!
Stan How's it hangin'.
Wendy Hey Dipper.
Dipper Wendy!
Wendy I didn't see you at the party. Where were you?
Dipper Uh.. I-uh.. I was trick-o-treating. With my sister. (Puts his arm around Mabel's shoulder)
Mabel Yeah.
Wendy The party was lame anyway. Robbie ate a lollipop stick-first and had to go home sick.
Dipper (Tries not to laugh)
Mabel Aw, man. We went to every single house, and we didn't even get to eat any candy!
Stan Candy? How's that for candy? (Holds up the kid's bags)
Dipper and Mabel grin at each other. Cut to the TV.
Announcer And now back to the fear guide from Terror Town Street.
Woman (On TV, screams at alien)
Alien (On TV:) NYNG NYNG NYNG.
Everyone is watching TV, eating the candies. Dipper comes to Mabel and attaches a bandage on Mabel's sore arm. Waddles munches the candy in his bowl.
Stan You know, kids? I've been thinkin'. At the end of the day, Summerween isn't about candy or costumes. Or even scaring people. It's a day when the whole family can get together at one place and celebrate what really matters: PURE EVIL! HAHAHAHAHA!
(Everyone laughs maniacally and then stops abruptly. There is a pause.)
Soos I ate a man alive tonight.
Everyone stares at Soos.
Ending credit. Mabel, Grenda and Candy are taking pictures of Waddles with his business man outfit. Then the song "9 to 5" plays, as the screen shows some meme styled pictures of Waddles. Ends with the cracking skull's voice.

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