|
The episode opens on the sky, where the sun is shining, then pans down to a view of the outside of the Mystery Shack.
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Toby Determined
|
(On the radio) Watch out, Gravity Falls, because at 110 degrees, we're looking at the hottest day of the summer!
|
|
(A squirrel runs into frame and erupts into flames. Cut to inside the Mystery Shack. Wax Stan melts, the wallpaper curls and peels off by itself, and water in the fish tank boils due to the heat. Cuts to Mabel, Dipper, Stan (holding a chocolate ice cream bucket), and Soos in the living room, having stripped down to their undergarments, not quite enjoying the heat.)
|
Dipper Pines
|
All in favor of doing nothing all day, say "ugh."
|
Dipper, Mabel, Stan, and Soos
|
(All raising their hands) Ugh...
|
|
(Waddles walks up to Stan's chocolate-covered mouth.)
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Stan Pines
|
I'm gonna throw this pig out of the house!
|
|
(Waddles oinks and starts licking Stan's cheek, to his dismay.)
|
Stan
|
You called my bluff, pig.
|
Toby
|
(On the radio) On the bright side, pun very much intended, it's opening week at the Gravity Falls Pool.
|
Mabel Pines
|
(Suddenly perks up) Gravity Falls Pool?
|
Dipper
|
Today?
|
Soos Ramirez
|
Pun intended?
|
Stan
|
Quick! To the car!
|
|
(Stan tries to get up, but is stuck to the floor.)
|
Stan
|
Hey, kids, a little help here?
|
|
(Mabel and Dipper pull out spatulas and attempt to release Stan from the floor. Soos shudders)
|
Stan
|
Alright! Off to the pool!
|
|
(Stan turns around, and reveals that the twins removed the wood from the floor when breaking him free. Then he goes off screen.)
|
Toby
|
(On the radio) And remember to be on alert for random wildfires!
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Stan
|
(Off screen) Wait, what? (He is heard catching on fire) Aaaah!
|
Mabel
|
(To Dipper) He'll be fine.
|
|
(Cuts to theme song. Scene shows an establishing shot of the Gravity Falls pool.)
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Mabel
|
Ah, the pool! A sparkling oasis of summer enchantment!
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Stan
|
Yeah, nothing like sitting in a moist tub with strangers. It's like the bus, but wet.
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Dipper
|
(Looking at the towel Soos is holding) Why would a sun need to wear sunglasses?
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Soos
|
It's best not to think about it.
|
Mabel
|
Whoa, whoa! Stop the presses! Who's that?
|
|
(Mabel looks at a handsome young man whose hair is blowing in the wind)
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Soos
|
Oh, yeah. (Eats a corn chip) Word is, dude never leaves the pool. People say he's a "Mysterious loner." (Backs away from Mabel while eating corn chips)
|
Mabel
|
Is it getting hot out here or is it just that guy?
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Dipper
|
It's the hottest day of the year, Mabel. Besides, can't you go for one week without having a new crush on some random guy?
|
Mabel
|
Uh-uh. (Gasps) Look at his little mustache hairs!
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Soos
|
You are clearly enamored. Go to him.
|
|
(Mabel runs across the pool, but trips across a bucket and stumbles on two men in lawn chairs.)
|
Man 1
|
Hey, come on!
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Man 2
|
Watch it, kid!
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Mabel
|
(While breaking her leg free from a lawn chair and knocking over a basket of beach balls) Aaah! Oops, sorry.
|
Soos
|
It's so beautiful!
|
Dipper
|
Eh, Mabel's all talk. You wanna know a secret? She's never even kissed a guy before. She always messes it up somehow.
|
Stan
|
Oi. Women. (A water balloon is thrown in his face) Aaah!
|
Wendy Corduroy
|
(Sits on a lifeguard's chair, wearing a red swimsuit and a whistle) Hey, Mr. Pines!
|
Stan
|
Wendy? Where's the lifeguard?
|
Wendy
|
I am the lifeguard. I make the rules, sucka! (Throws a water balloon at Stan) Boosh!
|
Stan
|
Aah! (Runs away from two more water balloons) She's attacking me with water!
|
|
(Wendy, Soos, and Dipper laugh.)
|
Dipper
|
Wow. You work here?
|
Wendy
|
I found out lifeguards get free snack privileges. Plus I get the best seat in the house.
|
Dipper
|
Yeah, you do! (Laughs, then whispers) I've been laughing for too long...
|
Soos
|
Dude, are you and Wendy having a secret staring contest? 'Cause I think you're winning—
|
Dipper
|
Soos! Shh! (Pushes Soos away, Wendy looks confused) So, hey, you wanna go chuck more water balloons at Grunkle Stan?
|
Wendy
|
I'd love to, but I gotta spend the day doing tryouts. We're looking for a new assistant lifeguard.
|
Dipper
|
Hey, (Clears throat; deeper voice) hey. (Normal voice) What if I was assistant lifeguard?
|
Wendy
|
That would be so much fun! You're totally in, dude! (Throws a rescue can at Dipper; he catches it) You just have to check in with my boss first, Mr. Poolcheck.
|
Dipper
|
Your boss?
|
|
(It shows a masculine man doing push ups with his index fingers. He turns in Dipper's direction with an unsettling expression; Dipper gasps.)
|
|
(Cuts to the boy Mabel was attracted to. He's drinking lemonade. Suddenly, Mabel bursts out of the water.)
|
Mabel
|
Wow! Oh my gosh, how crazy bumping into you here even though we don't know each other!
|
Mermando
|
How long have you been underwater?
|
Mabel
|
That doesn't matter! (Coughs up a band-aid) So, hey! My name's Mabel.
|
Mermando
|
(In Spanish) Hola.
|
Mabel
|
Whoa! Are you Australian?
|
Mermando
|
(Laughs) I am charmed by your sense of humor. And your bold lack of water-wings!
|
Mabel
|
(Laughs) You're so funny! And your hair is beautiful...
|
Mermando
|
No, no, it has silly tangles!
|
Mabel
|
Mind if I... (Pulls out a comb, and begins to brush Mermando's hair)
|
Mermando
|
Why, Mabel. You are so forward. (Laughs)
|
Mabel
|
(Thinking) This is it! He likes you! Go for it, Mabel! It's time! Ask him out on a date! (Speaking) So, hey, you wanna go dry off? Maybe hit the snack bar or—?
|
Mermando
|
I-I'm afraid I cannot! For I have a terrible secret! (Mabel is shocked by his words) I must go.
|
|
(He swims off, leaving Mabel by herself.)
|
Mabel
|
I'm upset. Yet intrigued!
|
|
(Cuts to Dipper talking to Mr. Poolcheck while hammering a wooden sign on the pool supplies door reading "DO NOT TOUCH!!")
|
Dipper
|
And that is why I think I'd make a good lifeguard assistant.
|
Mr. Poolcheck
|
Hmm... (Gets down and sniffs Dipper) SPF 100? Good, I like you. But this isn't an easy job. It's anarchy out there.
|
|
(Poolcheck points to the pool. It shows the pool being perfectly calm.)
|
Dipper
|
I think I can handle it.
|
Mr. Poolcheck
|
Can you handle THIS?! (He pulls off his right hand, revealing it to be prosthetic; Dipper gasps in shock) I lost my HAND to a pool filter! (Reattaches hand to his wrist) The pool may seem friendly, but she can turn on you in an instant! Which is why you must respect her rules! Do you think you have what it takes, boy? (Grips Dipper aggressively) DO YOU?!!
|
|
(Dipper looks at Wendy, who is giving him a thumbs up.)
|
Dipper
|
Sure. I guess.
|
|
(Mr. Poolcheck puts a whistle around Dipper's neck.)
|
Mr. Poolcheck
|
Welcome to the deep end, son.
|
Dipper
|
Well, thanks, I— (Mr. Poolcheck strangles him in a hug.) Yep. Oh, this is happening.
|
|
(Cut to Stan and Soos walking by the pool to see a single lawn chair, sparkling clean.)
|
Stan
|
There she is, Soos. Equidistant from the snack bar and the bathroom, just the right amount of sun and shade. And pointed away from where Old Man McGucket lotions himself.
|
Old Man McGucket
|
Whoo-wee!
|
Disgusted man
|
Ah, my eyes!
|
Stan
|
The perfect lawn chair. (The chair shines in the sunlight)
|
Soos
|
The legends that you told me in the car were true.
|
Stan
|
I just can't believe it wasn't already taken. And now to sit on it, thereby claiming it as my own.
|
|
(Stan tosses his "Property of Stan" towel on the chair and sits down, but a foot rests on his back just as he does)
|
Stan
|
WHAAAAAAAT?!?!
|
Gideon Gleeful
|
Why, hello, Stanford.
|
Stan
|
(Stands up angrily) GIDEON! GET OUTTA MY CHAIR, KID!!
|
Gideon
|
Oh my, was this your chair? I had no idea. (Whispers) Yes, I did, Stan. I knew. Mm! Ooh!
|
Stan
|
Move it, you little troll!
|
Gideon
|
First come, first serve! (Giggles and rolls around on the chair)
|
Stan
|
I'll first serve YOU!! (He picks up Gideon; suddenly the whistle blows) Huh?
|
|
(Cuts to Stan in pool jail.)
|
Stan
|
Come on, Wendy! You can't do this to an old man!
|
Wendy
|
Sorry, Stan, it's not up to me. (Chuckles) Actually, it is.
|
Dipper
|
Hey, Wendy, I got the job!
|
Wendy
|
Sweet! Wanna go abuse our power?
|
Dipper
|
But what if Poolcheck catches us? He seems emotionally unstable.
|
|
(Cuts to Mr. Poolcheck doing sit-ups on the chain-link fence. He observes his surroundings like an intimidating hawk before lowering himself down again.)
|
Wendy
|
Nah, don't worry, man. You just gotta be sneaky about your rule-breaking. Race you to the no running sign!
|
|
(Dipper runs after her, but then sees Poolcheck, who is drinking water from the pool. Mr. Poolcheck looks at him and licks the extra water off his face. Dipper then slows down.)
|
|
(Cuts back to pool jail.)
|
Kid 1
|
How long you in for?
|
Stan
|
Two hours for roughhousing, but I'm innocent!
|
Kid 2
|
Pool jail ain't so bad... as long as you don't wind up in solitary.
|
|
(Cuts to a kid trapped inside a pool vent.)
|
Pool Jail kid
|
It's the nights that are the hardest.
|
|
(Cuts back to Mermando. Mabel comes out of the water, but then drops under again when Mermando looks her direction. Again, Mabel appears, but ducks yet again when Mermando thinks he hears her. Mabel then pops out of the water.)
|
Mabel
|
Hey there! (Mermando screams) I brought you a sandwich. It's sort of wet, but it's still good. Blop.
|
|
(Mabel puts the sandwich on Mermando's inflatable raft.)
|
Mabel
|
I like sharing things. Sandwiches, secrets. (Whispers) Share your secret, beautiful stranger.
|
Mermando
|
That wet sandwich does look delicious.
|
|
(Mermando's hair blows in the wind.)
|
Mermando
|
Oh, very well. But you must never tell another living soul my terrible secret.
|
|
(Mabel nods.)
|
Mermando
|
You have to stay away from me because I am...
|
|
(Mermando pushes his inflatable raft away from him.)
|
Mermando
|
...A merman.
|
Mabel
|
Oh, thank goodness. I thought you were gonna say you had a girlfriend!
|
|
(Cuts to commercial break.)
|
Mabel
|
A merman... ha! I should have known from your strange foreign fish language.
|
Mermando
|
It is Spanish.
|
Mabel
|
Your voice is so deep and masculine... how old are you?
|
Mermando
|
I am 12 years old. Merman's voices change when we are, like, 3.
|
Mabel
|
So what's your name?
|
Merman
|
There are some who call me... (plays chord on guitar) Mermando! This is because Mermando is my name.
|
Mabel
|
But I don't understand, Mermando. What's a guy like you doing in a public pool?
|
Mermando
|
It is a tragic story, Mabel.
|
|
(A flashback backs)
|
Mermando (Narrating)
|
I was swimming with my friends, the mighty dolphins, in the Gulf of Mexico, when I was ensnared!
|
|
(Flashback Mermando is seen swimming with dolphins until he is caught in a fishing net and brought up next to a boat)
|
Davey
|
(Flashback) Earl, did we just catch ourselves some kind of beautiful man-fish?
|
Earl
|
(Flashback) Let's feast on his flesh.
|
Mermando (Narrating)
|
The cargo was headed for Gravity Falls.
|
|
(Flashback Mermando opens up the back of a truck and hops into the lake.)
|
Mermando (Narrating)
|
Using all my strength, I tried to escape back home, but it was not to be.
|
|
(Flashback Mermando swims up a waterfall. When he reaches the top, he laughs, but suddenly, a log hits him in the face. He falls and lands into the forest surrounding the lake. He spits a tooth out.)
|
Mermando (Narrating)
|
I would have died of dehydration, were it not for the kindness of the forest animals.
|
|
(Flashback deer come up to flashback Mermando and start licking him.)
|
Mermando (Flashback)
|
(Laughs) Continue licking! Oh!
|
|
(Flashback Mermando falls down a pipe, through the forest, over the fence of the Gravity Falls pool, and into the pool. He gasps for air.)
|
|
(The flashback ends.)
|
Mermando
|
But now that you know what I am, you must be seriously weirded out.
|
Mabel
|
What?! I don't care that you're a merman. You're, like, the coolest guy I've ever met. And you can play at least one chord on the guitar.
|
Mermando
|
Oh, Mabel, I have never met another human like you. Would you care to join me in a game of the Marco Polo?
|
Mabel
|
Oh, yes, Mermando! Yes!
|
|
(Mabel crushes Mermando in a hug.)
|
Mermando
|
You are covering my gills. I cannot breathe.
|
|
(Mabel quickly lets go. Mermando gasps.)
|
Mabel
|
(Chuckles) Weird.
|
|
Cuts to Gideon putting sunscreen on himself on the lawn chair Stan wanted.
|
Gideon
|
Ooh! (giggles) My cheeks are baby soft.
|
|
Cuts to Stan watching Gideon from afar.
|
Stan
|
(Growls) Look at him, that smug chair stealing jerk! But I can't touch him, or the pool patrol will throw me in pool jail. Hmm...
|
|
(The light of the sun hits Stan's watch)
|
Stan
|
Ah!
|
|
(Stan makes an attempt to shine the light on his watch at Gideon)
|
Stan
|
Yes. Yes! Burn the child...
|
|
(Gideon holds up his goggles, which bounces the light back into Stan's eyes)
|
Stan
|
Aah! My eyes!
|
|
(Stan falls into the pool.)
|
Gideon
|
(Puts his goggles on) Deal with it. (Stan comes out of the water, completely enraged)
|
|
(Camera pans to Soos putting on an inflatable duck)
|
Duck
|
Soos.
|
Soos
|
Inflatable duck guy, is that you?
|
Duck
|
Yes, Soos, I can talk.
|
Soos
|
Oh my gosh, I knew you guys were secretly alive. I knew it!
|
|
(Wendy and Dipper are around the corner with a megaphone, looking at Soos, as they are the ones making the inflatable duck talk. They laugh and tell each other to shush quietly.)
|
Duck
|
My people have been enslaved, Soos. You must free us.
|
Soos
|
(Prepares to enter pool supplies closet) The inflatable pool duck revolution is at hand.
|
|
(Dipper and Wendy laugh, but suddenly they hear a whistle. Poolcheck is seen driving the pool mobile with a megaphone in his hand)
|
Mr. Poolcheck
|
Pool's closing! Clear out, everyone!
|
Dipper
|
Poolcheck!
|
Wendy
|
Hide! (They both attempt to run away)
|
Mr. Poolcheck
|
Out! (Shouts at Soos next to pool supplies room) Do not TOUCH!! (Calls to Dipper) Assistant Lifeguard!
|
|
(Dipper stops, incredibly nervous)
|
Mr. Poolcheck
|
Have a good night, son. Lock up the supplies for me.
|
|
(Poolcheck takes off his hand and pats it a couple of times. A pair of keys come out of it, which Dipper nervously takes and locks up the supplies room with.)
|
|
(Cuts to Mabel and Mermando brushing each others hair, when the whistle blows.)
|
Mermando
|
The pool, she closes. Can I see you tonight?
|
Mabel
|
Sure. Where? Wanna go for a walk?
|
Mermando
|
Merman. I am a merman.
|
Mabel
|
Oh, right. (Gets out of the pool) Then I'll be back tonight.
|
|
(At night, Mabel drives the golf cart to the pool. She climbs up the fence with a pool skimmer, damaging it. Mabel goes in the pool with Mermando.)
|
Mabel
|
Look! Here's a scrapbook of human stuff. (Points at the scrapbook) Here's me standing with my legs. And here I am kicking Dipper in his legs. He couldn't move his legs after that! Can you imagine? Not having legs?
|
Mermando
|
(A bit uncomfortable) Let's skip this part.
|
Mabel
|
(Points at another picture) And here's my whole family kickboxing!
|
Mermando
|
(Sighs, and swims away from Mabel)
|
Mabel
|
(Follows him) What's wrong?
|
|
Mermando takes his guitar out and plays it, but it doesn't sound well. He angrily pours the water out and starts to talk.
|
Mermando
|
I too, used to have a family once, back in the ocean. (opens his shell necklace and looks at his family's picture.) How I miss them. (Closes the necklace)
|
Mabel
|
Mermando, why don't you just leave the pool?
|
Mermando
|
I've tried only once, but escaping this pool required a plan that was bold and daring.
|
|
Cuts to Mermando's past memory he tried to escape. He jumps out the pool but he doesn't gets far and flaps for water. He hits chairs, a parasol, and gets pecked by a woodpecker. Then he rolls into the pool.
|
Mermando
|
And then the wolves came. (To Mabel, changing the topic) No, I'm glad that I'm here, 'cause I met you.
|
|
Next to Mermando a shooting star falls down.
|
Mabel
|
(Thinking) This is it, Mabel. First kiss moment, here we come! Just go for it! (Tries to kiss)
|
Mermando
|
What are you doing with your mouth?
|
Mabel
|
Me? Nothing. This? I was eating some sour candy. So my lips were doing that, 'cause the candy was so sour.
|
Mermando
|
(Pause) Can I have some candy?
|
Mabel
|
(Pause) No.
|
|
It becomes daytime. Sheriff Blubs and Deputy Durland are putting suncreams on. Then, Sheriff Blubs gets trapped by a life saver fallen from the top.
|
Sheriff Blubs
|
Wha-what the?
|
|
Deputy Durland gets trapped too.
|
Deputy Durland
|
I'm scared!
|
Blubs
|
Me too!
|
|
The camera pans up showing Wendy and Dipper were throwing the life savers.
|
Dipper
|
One hundred points!
|
Wendy
|
Dude! With this job, you and me are gonna be havin' fun all summer!
|
Dipper
|
(Blushing) All summer?
|
|
Mr. Poolcheck blows a whistle.
|
Mr. Poolcheck
|
(Pointing at Blubs and Durland) PINES! HERE! NOW!!
|
|
Cut to Mr. Poolcheck berating Dipper in front of the pool supplies closet.
|
Mr. Poolcheck
|
You gave me your word that you would respect the sacred rules of this municipal pool!
|
Dipper
|
Mr. Poolcheck, are you crying?
|
Mr. Poolcheck
|
(Snaps back at Dipper, his face is livid red) That's not important right now!! (Wipes his eyes, points at Dipper) You are on thin ice, boy! You wanna keep this job?! Well, some maniac broke into the supplies closet last night and destroyed our one and only pool skimmer! I want you on a stakeout. IF ONE MORE SUPPLY GETS TAKEN, YOU'RE FIRED!!
|
Dipper
|
(Salutes) I won't let you down!
|
|
Cut to Mabel and Mermando at the pool.
|
Mabel
|
Mermando, get ready! I'm gonna BRING THE HEAT! (Throws the ball to Mermando) BOOSH!
|
|
Mermando gets hit by the ball sadly.
|
Mabel
|
Mermando, are you okay?
|
|
Mermando swims to Mabel.
|
Mabel
|
Oh, it's your family, isn't it? Are you thinking about them?
|
|
Mermando makes a sad dolphin chirp.
|
Mabel
|
Mermando, enough is enough! I care about you too much to see you like this. We're gonna bust you out of here and get you back to your family.
|
Mermando
|
But, Mabel, escape is impossible!
|
Mabel
|
We're breaking you out of here TONIGHT!
|
|
Mabel hits the water which splashes.
|
Mabel
|
Whoops! Sorry about that. Water.
|
|
At night, Dipper guards the pool wearing a "Night Patrol" cap. He paces back and forth holding a flashlight.
|
Dipper
|
Alright, Dipper, here's the plan. Catch the trespasser, protect the supplies, keep job at pool, and eventually marry Wendy. (Dipper hears a sound) Freeze!
|
|
Dipper turns to the place where the sound is heard. It turns out to be Stan cutting the fence.
|
Dipper
|
Grunkle Stan?
|
Stan
|
I, uh... I'm sleepwalking! Also now I'm sleep-talking. (Points at the hat) Nice hat, by the way.
|
Dipper
|
You! You're the one destroying pool supplies!
|
Stan
|
What? No! My crime is a lot better than that. (Walks through the fence) I'm gonna get that seat and be ready in the morning when Gideon comes. Then maybe I'll destory some pool supplies. Night's still young.
|
|
Dipper takes a deep breath and blows the whistle loudly.
|
Stan
|
(Backs off) Yeesh, alright, I'm goin'!
|
|
Stan walks a little, then runs to the pool.
|
Dipper
|
Hey!
|
|
Dipper chases after him. Then, Mabel emerges from a bush, driving the golf cart in reverse. Mermando notices Mabel by the lights.
|
Mermando
|
Mabel! (Swims to Mabel; she uses a hairpin to unlock the pool supplies door)
|
Mabel
|
Are you ready to see your family?
|
Mermando
|
Yes, but how can I, a merman, possibly escape?
|
Mabel
|
(Takes out a paper of her sweater; presents a crude illustration to Mermando) Okay, my original plan was to tape together a bunch of fish sticks to make you a prosthetic pair of people legs.
|
Mermando
|
Intriguing. (He now sees Mabel fill up a cooler box with a hose on back of the golf cart)
|
Mabel
|
But then I realized I could just transport you in this cooler.
|
Mermando
|
Ha-ha!
|
|
(Mermando leaps out of the pool. After a pause, he hops into the cooler.)
|
Dipper
|
(Shouts offscreen) Hey! Who's there?!
|
Mermando
|
Quick! Hide me! My kind must not be seen! (Mabel closes the cooler before Dipper arrives)
|
Dipper
|
Mabel? Is there anyone not breaking into the pool tonight? What, is Soos here too? (Behind him, Soos climbs over the fence and drops down)
|
Soos
|
I'm okay.
|
Dipper
|
Go home, Soos.
|
Soos
|
You got it. (He attempts to climb back up the fence again)
|
Dipper
|
So, why are you here?
|
Mabel
|
(Nervously) Uh, no reason. (Mermando clears his throat)
|
Dipper
|
Did that cooler just clear its throat?
|
Mabel
|
Don't be silly. There certainly isn't a merman in there, if that's what you're implying. Who said anything about a merman?
|
Dipper
|
Mabel, I don't have time for your games. If you don't give me those supplies, I'll lose the coolest job ever!
|
Mabel
|
(sighs) I understand. (Suddenly points the other direction) Hey, look! Wendy in a bikini!
|
Dipper
|
(Turns around, distracted) Really? At night?
|
Mabel
|
Sorry, Dipper! (She drives the cart through the fence, next to Stan's hole on the right)
|
Dipper
|
(Angrily) MABEL!!
|
|
(Dipper runs to the pool mobile. He buckles his seatbelt, turns the ignition key and drives after Mabel through the fence hole)
|
Pool Jail kid
|
Go, Mabel, go! We can't all be saved. (Sees a bag of corn chips float towards him. He takes a chip in his mouth)
|
|
Next scene shows Dipper's pool mobile speeding after Mabel's cart through Main Street. Mabel glances back at the cooler.
|
Mabel
|
I'm gonna get you home! (Mermando gives a thumbs up; he narrowly avoids a water balloon thrown by Dipper)
|
Dipper
|
(Through megaphone) Hand over the pool supplies in the name of pool law!
|
Mabel
|
Pool law is dumb! And so is your hat!
|
|
Dipper continues to launch more water balloons at the golf cart. Mabel dodges them. She sees a sign that reads "Lake 3 Miles" and is pointed right.
|
Mabel
|
Look! Gravity Falls lake! (She takes a right turn with Dipper tailing behind her)
|
|
Cut back to the pool. Stan comes out from the women's bathroom.
|
Stan
|
The coast is clear. (He hurries to the chair and lies down) Ahh... Now all I have to do is wait here 15 hours until the pool opens. (He stares straight ahead for a pause) This was a good plan.
|
|
Meanwhile, Dipper chases Mabel down a winding forest road. They speed past a patrol car next to a Lil' Gideon billboard.
|
Blubs
|
I think someone just sped by.
|
Durland
|
Probably just a dream.
|
Blubs
|
With you, every day is a dream.
|
|
Dipper launches another water balloon, which knocks the knob off the cooler and releases water. Inside the cooler, Mermando gasps and starts to suffocate.
|
Mermando
|
I cannot breathe! You must hurry!
|
|
They pass another sign: "Welcome to Lake Gravity Falls". Mabel drives the cart towards the lake, then hits the brakes, causing her and the cooler to fall off the cart. Dipper stops the mobile and runs over to Mabel and the cooler.
|
Mabel
|
I'm okay.
|
Dipper
|
Alright, the jig is up! Hand over that cooler!
|
Mabel
|
(Grasps the cooler) Never!
|
Dipper
|
Why not?! Why do you even need it?!
|
Mabel
|
(Hesitates before telling the truth) I needed the cooler to save my new friend because he needs to go home and he's really nice and we combed each others' hair and he needs to be in the cooler because he breathes water because he's a merman! (She opens the cooler)
|
Mermando
|
(Mermando rolls out of the cooler, waves to Dipper) Hola.
|
Dipper
|
Whoa! Way to bury the lead, Mabel.
|
Mabel
|
Dipper, Mermando the merman. He's a merman.
|
Mermando
|
Nice to meet you. Also, I think I am dying. (Gasps and suffocates on the floor. His face is turning blue) Water! ¡Agua! ¡Yo necesito!
|
Mabel
|
Oh, no! Mermando! Dipper, you're a lifeguard! Give him CPR!
|
Dipper
|
Mermen don't breathe air!
|
Mabel
|
Then give him reverse CPR! Doi!
|
|
Dipper runs to the pool car and grabs a bottle of water. He runs back and leans over Mermando and steals himself. He squirts water into his mouth and starts resuscitating Mermando through mouth-to-mouth.
|
Dipper
|
I hate this! I hate this!
|
Mabel
|
(Takes a photo. Laughs) Blackmail!
|
Mermando
|
Thank you for saving me, but why didn't you just roll me into the lake? (Mermando gestures to the lake which is only a foot away.)
|
|
Dipper smacks his forehead in frustration.
|
|
Later, Mabel and Dipper carry Mermando down a pier and throw him into the lake.
|
Mermando
|
(Making dolphin sounds, then coughs) I am weak from coughing. How will I get my family to hear my call from the mighty depths of the ocean?
|
Mabel
|
I've got it. BRB. (She grabs a megaphone from the pool mobile) Problem solved!
|
Dipper
|
(Snatches megaphone from Mabel) Mabel, those are pool supplies. I'll get fired!
|
Mabel
|
Dipper! Don't you know what it's like to fall for someone? Even though you know in your heart that it'll probably never work out, but you'd do anything for that person?
|
Dipper
|
(sighs) Give Mermando the megaphone.
|
Mabel
|
Thanks, Dip. (She tosses the meagphone to Mermando)
|
Mermando
|
Mabel, I have never met anyone like you.
|
Mabel
|
Same here. Except for a zombie, a gnome, and a couple of cute vampires.
|
Dipper
|
I don't remember the vampires.
|
Mabel
|
I don't tell you everything. (To Mermando) Well, Mermando, I guess this is it.
|
Mermando
|
Not quite. This is! (He leaps up and kisses Mabel.)
|
Dipper
|
Whoa! Okay, that's gross. Ugh.
|
Mabel
|
That was my first kiss! Hey, it was also kind of your first kiss too, huh? Huh?
|
Dipper
|
(Shudders) Please don't involve me in this.
|
Mabel
|
Goodbye, Mermando.
|
Mermando
|
Goodbye, Mabel. (He swims off toward the waterfall)
|
Mabel
|
You did the right thing, Dipper.
|
Dipper
|
Yeah, yeah. (The twins walk along the pier toward the two carts)
|
Mabel
|
Oh, wait, wait! One last thing! (Runs onto a small rocky peninsula. Mermando leaps over her head) Yes! I've always wanted to do that.
|
|
(Morning at the pool...)
|
Mr. Poolcheck
|
A wrecked fence, dents in the pool mobile, and a missing megaphone?! (He grips Dipper, extremely livid) WHO IS RESPONSIBLE FOR THIS?!!
|
Dipper
|
It's my fault, sir. I'm sorry. I got in too deep.
|
Mr. Poolcheck
|
HAND OVER THE WHISTLE, BOY!!
|
|
Dipper hands Poolcheck the whistle, who then proceeds to put it in his mouth and crunches it with his teeth. Dipper slowly backs away as Poolcheck swallows the whistle.
|
Poolcheck
|
If one more thing goes wrong today—
|
|
Soos then emerges out of the pool supplies closet and throws the inflatable ducks over the fence.
|
Soos
|
You're free now! Free! Inflatable ducks unite!
|
Mr. Poolcheck
|
(Points at Soos) YOU!!!!
|
Soos
|
Huh? Aah! (He frantically climbs over the fence. Poolcheck runs through the fence after Soos, screaming like a ferocious beast)
|
Tyler Cutebiker
|
Git 'em! Git 'em!
|
|
Cut to Dipper walking away sadly. Suddenly, a water balloon hits his face.
|
Wendy
|
Hey, doofus, you'll never guess what happened. I just got fired.
|
Dipper
|
(Surprised, smiling) What? Really?
|
Wendy
|
Yeah. I guess Poolcheck found out I was taking too many snacks.
|
Dipper
|
How many?
|
|
Wendy lifts her hat and reveals a stack of Corncorno packs on her head. Dipper laughs.
|
Wendy
|
Hey, wanna go break rules somewhere else?
|
Dipper
|
Of course! (They walk off together, laughing)
|
|
Mabel is sitting by the pool, sighs. Then a bottle pops out from a grate.
|
Mabel
|
"Dear Mabel, (Mermando's voice plays in the background) I am home with my family and I am very happy."
|
Mermando
|
"Our first kiss will always hold a place in my heart. Technically hearts... As a merman I have, like, 17 hearts. Horrifying but true! More bottles on the way!"
|
|
More bottles pop out of the grate, Mabel giggles. Meanwhile, Gideon approaches Stan.
|
Gideon
|
Stanford! (Stan laughs) Well, guess you've won. Put 'er there. (He offers a handshake. Stan reaches to shake Gideon's hand but is stuck to the chair)
|
Stan
|
Hey! What the—
|
Gideon
|
Unless perhaps I predicted your plan, and coated the entire chair with glue last night! Enjoy your chair... forever. (He laughs as he walks away. Stan struggles to get off his chair)
|
Stan
|
Kids, get the spatulas! KIDS!!
|
|
Cut to end credits
|
|
Pool jail boy stares up at the sky from his prison as the seasons pass. In nighttime on the 4th of July, fireworks explode as the boy waves a mini US flag with one star 'á la sticker' wave.
|
|
End.
|