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Transcript This is a transcribed copy for the episode "Tooth." Feel free to edit or add to this page as long as the information comes directly from the episode.
Previous: "Lefty" Next: "The Hide-Behind"
Static.
Dipper Pines Welcome to Dipper's Guide to the Unexplained, Anomaly #42: The Tooth. (Points camera at Mabel, who is poking the tooth with a stick.)
Mabel Pines I'm here for scale!
Dipper I found it yesterday when I was, uh... practicing.
Static, cut to Dipper playing a sousaphone.
Dipper (Suddenly stops playing and points) Hey, is that a giant tooth?
Static.
Dipper Strangely human, but it's gigantic! It's bigger than any fish or lake monster I've ever seen. And we're gonna find out where it came from! 
Static, the camera is on Tate McGucket.
Tate McGucket Tooth? No, don't know nothing about a tooth.
Dipper We were thinking about paddling out on that lake tonight.
Tate McGucket Bit of friendly advice, boy: If you see bubbles on that lake, run.
Dipper What, why?
Tate McGucket Enough questions, get that camera out of here!
Static.
Dipper I'm here at the lake to investigate. I brought Mabel for backup.
Mabel And I brought Bear-O, my adorable childhood puppet. (Holds up Bear-O) Hey-oooh! Ain't that right, honey? (As Bear-O:) Did somebody say...honey? (Normal voice:) Ha ha ha ha ha ha!
Dipper Nope, creepy. Bear-O's creepy. Everyone hates Bear-O.
Mabel (As Bear-O:) But Dipper, who could hate Bear-O?
Dipper I can think of a few people.
Static, cut to Mabel on a stage with Bear-O surrounded by kids.
Mabel (Sings) They're quite a pair, Mabel and Bear-O. Her un-bear-lievable bear!
Kids (Crying.)
Boy I hate Bear-O, mommy! I hate it!
Cut back.
Mabel  Aw, come on! You'll see! You, me and Bear-O, are the adventure team of a lifetime!
Static, Dipper and Mabel are on the boat; Dipper has made Mabel leave Bear-O behind, camera zooms out to a disgruntled Mabel, rowing.
Dipper  Okay, something out there left that tooth, and we're gonna find out what it is!
Mabel (Holds up a sign, which reads:) DO YOU WANT MORE BEAR-O?! LET YOUR VOICE BE HEARD WRITE: Mabel Pines, c/o Mystery Shack, Gravity Falls
Dipper No, no, come on! (Grabs the sign.)
Static.
Mabel What are we supposed to be looking for?
Dipper I don't know, just look out for bubbles in the water.
Bubbles come up near an island.
Mabel Dipper, look!
Dipper They're over by that island! We have to see what happens!
The island shakes.
Dipper What was that?
Mabel Ah!
Dipper What's happening?!
Mabel IT DOESN'T MATTER! ROW! ROW! ROW!
The island is revealed to be a giant head that rises out of the water and floats toward the boat, grunting (backwards): "You have disturbed my slumber. Enter my mouth, children! ENTER YOUR DESTINY!"
Dipper (pants)
Mabel AAH! AAAAHH! AAAH!
Dipper It's getting closer!
Mabel AAH!
Dipper AH! KEEP ROWING!
Static, the camera is on the ground. A crawfish crawls by and Dipper comes into sight.
Dipper I don't know, I've been looking for— there it is. (picks up the camera) Okay, after it attacked us, that giant head thing just sunk back into the lake, and it lost another one of its teeth trying to eat our boat! But the important thing is, we survived. Barely.
Mabel Ugh, yeah. (As Bear-O:) Did somebody say, bear-ly?
Dipper AAAAHH!
Static.

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